What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in relationship problems (4)

Monday
Jul202015

A Good Relationship is not a Destination…

A good relationship is not a destination; a good relationship is a process.

We all want to “get there.” We want to put in the work and reap our rewards. We want someone to show us the way, give us the answers and somehow enable us to finally be happy.

Or so we think.

The truth is that a good relationship is process. It begins with becoming aware of who you are, understanding what makes your partner tick, and learning how to navigate the waters of being in relationship with each other. You never become an expert. You never totally get there. There is always more to learn. You will never be perfect at it.

I invite you to consider that you and your partner will stumble from time to time. I invite you to accept that a good relationship requires you to work at it. You can’t be complacent, lazy or take it for granted. You need to put your attention and efforts toward it. And you need to understand that even when you do this, you will never get that happy ending.

So what’s in it for you and yours?

When you commit to learning and living the process, you acquire a relationship muscle, a comfort level with understanding issues and breakdowns that occur within the relationship, and the confidence, know-how and courage to work through them with more ease and grace.

This is the destination. Learning the process, and then learning the process again and again.

The gift from doing so?

Personal power and freedom of choice. And a relationship based on mutual respect, love and intimacy. Go for it!

Be well,

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know wants to learn the process of relationship building, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Saturday
Nov092013

Another year has passed...

Every year about this time I remind everyone to watch The Pathway to Love video. This video presents the four phases of a developing relationship in an educational and entertaining way. You get to watch a couple's relationship move through the four phases while I describe the issues, tasks and gifts inherent in each phase.  It is a journey that will make you smile, laugh and nod as you relate to all the things that couples go through as they travel from the first time they meet to creating a committed relationship based on deep intimacy and true love.

This video means a lot to me. Not only does it serve as a wonderful way to understand and experience the four phases of The Pathway to Love, it was for me, a personal labor of love. Many wonderful friends and colleagues volunteered their time, talent, and resources in the making of this video. I was incredibly blessed to have so many with so much talent stand by my side while creating a story that teaches, touches and inspires others to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of their lives.

In particular, I take this time of year to acknowledge Terrence Wing, a real life angel, who passed away on December 1, 2011. Terrence was my role model of what it means to be a friend, mentor and professional. He was instrumental in the making of this video. He was the director, editor and videographer. He brought heart and integrity to everything he did and never expected anything in return. All he wanted was for me to be successful. He was a champion to so many and continues to be missed by all who knew him.

So if you've never experienced The Pathway to Love video or have not watched it recently, I encourage you to take 10 minutes and enjoy!

And when you do, send a smile off to Terrence!

Click Read in Browser to access The Pathway to Love video!

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Wednesday
Sep112013

Desperate to Win Back Your Ex? What Are You Really Desperate For?

I get tons of emails from people asking me how to win their boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, you name it, back. They are in pain and desperate. They regret breaking up with their significant other or worse, regret causing the breakup in the first place—or so it seems.

As people struggle with the transition from being a ‘we’ to an ‘I’, it is normal to want a do-over—to go back and make things right. I find this to be true regardless if you were the one who made the decision to break up or not. What's even more interesting, is that this phenomenon occurs even when the relationship and/or the "ex" was less than desirable—people will ignore all the reasons the relationship ended in the first place. During this painful time of detaching and feeling like there is no solid ground beneath you, one's memory of the relationship becomes distorted. All of a sudden, all the horrible things your ex did or the fact that you wanted a serious relationship and your ex did not, goes to the way side.  All you can think about is how to get him or her back. The ‘getting back’ becomes paramount regardless of the circumstances. You can't seem to stop and consider if you got what you wanted, would you want what you got?

Having said this, there are those situations when someone sabotaged a relationship or ran from one out of fear who later discovered that their fears were not nearly as important or relevant as being with the person they grew to love. Under these circumstances, it makes sense to revisit the relationship with a new appreciation and understanding of what really matters to you and what you're willing to do to win your love back and make it work. However, these individuals typically do not exhibit any desperate energy. They choose to contact their ex and have an open and honest conversation about what their past behaviors were all about and what they'd like to create from here on out. Sometimes it's too late and sometimes it's not. They accept whatever verdict ensues.

But for those of you that feel desperate, as if your life cannot go on without your ex, here are some things for you to consider before you go about trying to cajole and manipulate anyone back. Ask yourself the following:

To read full article, click Read in Browser.

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Sunday
Aug112013

Do I Stay or Do I Leave? When to Call it Quits 

You've been unhappy in your relationship for some time. You and your significant other have argued, negotiated and retreated in your attempts to navigate the differences between you.  You've tried counseling but you found that you were the only one interested in making a change. In the end, you've come to the conclusion that you and your partner are simply not a good match. As painful as it is, your love for your mate is faltering and you can no longer accept things as they are. You long for a different kind of relationship and are unwilling to settle for anything less. You've let go of any hope for anything better--you've worked through your last ounce of resistance to letting go.  You tell yourself that tonight you will tell your partner that you want to end the relationship. 

Making the final decision to end a relationship is not easy. Typically, it takes time, a lot of pain and multiple attempts to make things better before accepting that the relationship is no longer working. Some people struggle endlessly, prolonging the agonizing decision much longer than is necessary. Others may jump ship too quickly, accepting defeat before they've given the effort and time necessary to fix what feels broken. It is hard to know when to call it quits. It's hard to give up on someone you love, a relationship you value and the hope that this would be the one to last a lifetime.

To help those of you that are currently wrestling with the dilemma of "Do I stay or do I go?"--here are some guidelines to help you figure out when to call it quits and when to hang in there and give it one more try. 

Read the important article in its entirety - Click Read in Browser

FYI- As you may have already heard, Gmail is rolling out some new features to automatically filter your email messages for you (this also applies if you use Google Apps for your business email address!).

Gmail is phasing in a new "tabbed inbox" system. You may have already seen it in your inbox if you use Gmail. If not, you'll see it soon. Google is rolling the new system out to users overtime. They've split your inbox into 5 separate inboxes and created tabs across the top labeling each "Primary, Social, Promotions, Updates and Forums".

My emails to you will most likely fall under promotions. To ensure that you get the information you want from me, here’s what you can do.

Option 1:

1 - Click on the Promotions inbox tab.

2 - Drag any emails from people you want to hear from and drop them onto the tab that says “Primary.” Then, when it asks if you want future emails to go into your Primary inbox, just click yes.

For the next few weeks, as Gmail phases these new tabbed inboxes in, be sure to check your Promotions inbox to make sure nothing else you really want is getting caught (and lost) in it.

Option 2:   If you want to completely remove these new tabs - go to the Settings box in the upper right hand corner of your inbox and select "Settings." Click on the "Inbox" tab and unselect all categories but "Primary" (don't forget to save your changes).

I hope this information is helpful to you. Thanks in advance for making sure we can stay connected!

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