What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in loss and transitions (8)

Friday
Jun132014

Beware of Buyer's Remorse 

There comes a time when you must choose. You must choose which college to attend, which house to buy, if you will get married and to whom, if you will take the new job, if you will buy that car. We are faced with making choices all the time. Most of our choices are relatively small--what do I want to have for dinner, which blouse will I wear today, which project will I work on, etc. However, from time to time we have big choices to make. Choices that have big implications. Choices that usually involve selecting from more than one option.

A funny thing happens when we are forced to "choose."  We become anxious, even obsessed with making the right choice. We struggle to consider all the factors involved with making that decision. For some, choosing something big, new and different is easy. For others, its painstaking. But for most everyone, there is a common phenomenon known as "Buyer's Remorse."

Buyer's remorse is that moment when you realize that what "was" is now gone. It's the moment when you realize there is no going back. The marriage is official, escrow has closed, the relationship has ended, you've quit the old job, you've begun your first day of college.

What is buyer's remorse really about? Why do we suddenly miss our old life? What is at stake when we let go of the past and move on to the future? Aren't we doing this all the time anyways?

To help you navigate through your big "choices," here are a few things to know when it comes to buyer's remorse.

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Saturday
Nov092013

Another year has passed...

Every year about this time I remind everyone to watch The Pathway to Love video. This video presents the four phases of a developing relationship in an educational and entertaining way. You get to watch a couple's relationship move through the four phases while I describe the issues, tasks and gifts inherent in each phase.  It is a journey that will make you smile, laugh and nod as you relate to all the things that couples go through as they travel from the first time they meet to creating a committed relationship based on deep intimacy and true love.

This video means a lot to me. Not only does it serve as a wonderful way to understand and experience the four phases of The Pathway to Love, it was for me, a personal labor of love. Many wonderful friends and colleagues volunteered their time, talent, and resources in the making of this video. I was incredibly blessed to have so many with so much talent stand by my side while creating a story that teaches, touches and inspires others to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of their lives.

In particular, I take this time of year to acknowledge Terrence Wing, a real life angel, who passed away on December 1, 2011. Terrence was my role model of what it means to be a friend, mentor and professional. He was instrumental in the making of this video. He was the director, editor and videographer. He brought heart and integrity to everything he did and never expected anything in return. All he wanted was for me to be successful. He was a champion to so many and continues to be missed by all who knew him.

So if you've never experienced The Pathway to Love video or have not watched it recently, I encourage you to take 10 minutes and enjoy!

And when you do, send a smile off to Terrence!

Click Read in Browser to access The Pathway to Love video!

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Aug112013

Do I Stay or Do I Leave? When to Call it Quits 

You've been unhappy in your relationship for some time. You and your significant other have argued, negotiated and retreated in your attempts to navigate the differences between you.  You've tried counseling but you found that you were the only one interested in making a change. In the end, you've come to the conclusion that you and your partner are simply not a good match. As painful as it is, your love for your mate is faltering and you can no longer accept things as they are. You long for a different kind of relationship and are unwilling to settle for anything less. You've let go of any hope for anything better--you've worked through your last ounce of resistance to letting go.  You tell yourself that tonight you will tell your partner that you want to end the relationship. 

Making the final decision to end a relationship is not easy. Typically, it takes time, a lot of pain and multiple attempts to make things better before accepting that the relationship is no longer working. Some people struggle endlessly, prolonging the agonizing decision much longer than is necessary. Others may jump ship too quickly, accepting defeat before they've given the effort and time necessary to fix what feels broken. It is hard to know when to call it quits. It's hard to give up on someone you love, a relationship you value and the hope that this would be the one to last a lifetime.

To help those of you that are currently wrestling with the dilemma of "Do I stay or do I go?"--here are some guidelines to help you figure out when to call it quits and when to hang in there and give it one more try. 

Read the important article in its entirety - Click Read in Browser

FYI- As you may have already heard, Gmail is rolling out some new features to automatically filter your email messages for you (this also applies if you use Google Apps for your business email address!).

Gmail is phasing in a new "tabbed inbox" system. You may have already seen it in your inbox if you use Gmail. If not, you'll see it soon. Google is rolling the new system out to users overtime. They've split your inbox into 5 separate inboxes and created tabs across the top labeling each "Primary, Social, Promotions, Updates and Forums".

My emails to you will most likely fall under promotions. To ensure that you get the information you want from me, here’s what you can do.

Option 1:

1 - Click on the Promotions inbox tab.

2 - Drag any emails from people you want to hear from and drop them onto the tab that says “Primary.” Then, when it asks if you want future emails to go into your Primary inbox, just click yes.

For the next few weeks, as Gmail phases these new tabbed inboxes in, be sure to check your Promotions inbox to make sure nothing else you really want is getting caught (and lost) in it.

Option 2:   If you want to completely remove these new tabs - go to the Settings box in the upper right hand corner of your inbox and select "Settings." Click on the "Inbox" tab and unselect all categories but "Primary" (don't forget to save your changes).

I hope this information is helpful to you. Thanks in advance for making sure we can stay connected!

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Mar242013

Let Go and Let In!

Change and transitions are not only a necessary part of life, they are a blessing. They allow you to meet new people and do new things, they enable you to grow and transform, and they create the space for more joy, happiness and love to come into your life. Unfortunately, we can stand in our own way. The idea of change is scary—we are not always comfortable with the unknown. So we end up holding on to what we do know, what is familiar and comfortable, often at the expense of our own wonderful future that is waiting to emerge. In the end, the very things we do to protect ourselves from potential “harm” are the very things that imprison us from potential growth and well-being.

It is so important to not only embrace change and transitions but to invite and welcome them to us. So whether you are someone who tries to block change or make change happen, there is a middle ground. It’s the place from which you let go and let in. Sometimes easier said than done, I know.  So in order to help you with this endeavor, I am offering five steps to help facilitate the art of letting go and letting in.

BIG NEWS! My radio/internet TV show “Pathways to Love” on LATalkLive will be moving to a new day and time. Starting April 14th you can catch us LIVE every Sunday at 1:30pm PST at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love. As always, call in with your questions and comments at 323-473-3100! (Until then, you can still watch us live on Fridays, 2:30pm PST and always catch the archived recorded shows at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love)

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Monday
Feb252013

Is Having Sex With Your Ex a Good Idea?  

Coming to terms with the end of a relationship is one of the most difficult transitions that relationships offer. It is complicated and often a non-linear path to “un-attach” oneself to someone you have come to know as your other half. To make matters worse, if you are the one who still wants the relationship to continue, you may find yourself compromising your values and morals in order to find a way to pull your significant other back in. Even if you are the one who initiated the ending, you may also find yourself pulled back to your ex as you navigate the waters of letting go. See if the following scenario rings a bell for you or someone you know. You officially have called it quits. One night your ex calls and invites you to dinner. You accept the invitation. You tell yourself you did so because you want to get the books you left at the house. But if truth be told, you really accepted the invitation because you’re feeling lonely and miss being around someone so familiar. When you arrive at the house, it feels good to be back in familiar territory—food, wine, and conversation flows—and before you know it, you find yourself having a passionate interlude with your ex. After the passion subsides, you wonder if you did the right thing. It felt like a good idea about an hour ago but now you’re feeling a little worried. Sound familiar?

 

Don’t forget to join me for my LIVE “Turning Disappointment into Intimate Connections” Workshop on February 26, 7 – 8:30pm at The Mystic Journey Bookstore in Venice, California. For more information and to register, go to http://www.mysticjourneybookstore.com/saleitem.php#WS0226

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