What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in family challenges (4)

Friday
May092014

7 Ways to Deal with Your Empty Nest

It's that time of year. The school year is coming to a close and for those of you who are parents, this means dealing with endings and preparing yourself and your children for new beginnings that lie ahead.  

For those of you that have graduating seniors, like myself, it is a more poignant time of year. It is the time to begin the process of launching your children out into the world. It is the time to deal with your own feelings as your role as parent shifts into a different gear. And as cliche as it sounds, if this is your last child going off to college or adventures of his own, it is your time to deal with the empty nest.

I must confess that while I have helped many mothers and fathers work their way through this time, experiencing this first hand is quite a different story.  So I've decided to share my own process with you in hopes that it will help validate yours. Yours may look different than mine, or the transition you are going through may be different, but I promise you the issues and tasks that must be addressed in order to make your way through to the other side are quite similar. So in the interest of helping you understand what waters must be navigated and how best to do this, read on.

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Sunday
Oct132013

Parenting: When to hold on and when to let go

One of the most important aspects to parenting comes in the form of letting go. While newborns require the experience of attachment, as children get older, parents must face the sometimes painful task of creating healthy separation from their children. And while newborns come into this world completely dependent upon others for their survival, as they grow up, they must learn to separate and individuate. This is the cycle of life. This is the unique quality that parent-child relationships have.

Children at different stages of development require different levels of separation and independence. Sound judgment and common sense often lead the way. Better yet, reading a great parenting book or following a great blog (no personal accolades intended :-)) can help give you the information you need to support you along the way. It doesn't matter if you stumble. What matters is that you understand the importance in preparing your children for adulthood in age appropriate ways. In other words, don't unconsciously protect your children from growing up. Don't enable them to stay dependent, insecure, and fearful. Your job is to support and make choices that lend themselves toward helping your children become independent and live a great life. 

And believe it or not, this starts from the very beginning. Babies need the space to crawl and explore their environment. Toddlers need the freedom to learn that actions have consequences. School aged kids need to discover how the world works and their place within it. And adolescents need to know that they have the confidence and competence to go and make a life for themselves.

Letting go and allowing your children to make and learn from their own choices is fundamental. Encouraging your children to take risks, stretch and grow is vital. Modeling the art of separating and letting go is mandated.

So why is separating from our children so difficult for so many?

Here are just a few of the multitude of reasons why parents hang on—too long!!

If you find it difficult to separate from your children or allow your children to separate from you, you might identify with one or more of the following dynamics: (Click Read in Browser to access full article. Parents and future parents will not want to miss this one!

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Sunday
Apr282013

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY EMPTY NEST? - What to Do When Your Grown Children Move Back In 

With graduation coming right around the corner and the economy still lagging behind, many new graduates will be coming home—to stay—at least for a while. And that’s not all. Many older independent adult children who have been laid off or have had difficulty launching their careers find themselves reluctantly knocking on their parents door, needing a place to live until they find a way to get back on their feet and make their own way. While some parents may welcome the return of their adult children, going from dependent teenagers to independent adult roommates may not be as easy as it seems. Many single parents and couples find it challenging to lose their sense of freedom and privacy just at a time when the have come to embrace and enjoy their “empty nest.” There are many challenges parents face when their adult children return home. These include

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Sunday
Nov202011

Turkey, Turmoil, and Triumphs

I know, it’s that time of year again. Thanksgiving is right in front of us and that means Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas and New Year’s is right around the corner. We each have our own version of the perfect holiday. We each have our own version of holidays gone bad. Regardless of your version, it is difficult to escape all the hype and expectations that surround this time of year. Holidays tend to exert tremendous pressure on our relationships. They magnify everything—the fact that you’re not married, married to a jerk, have no family around, have family around that you rather not see, are currently out of work, have no money to spend on gifts this year, and so on and so on. Whether you are filled with gratitude or filled with dread, the holidays will undoubtedly test your patience, tolerance, attitudes, expectations, beliefs, and most of all, your relationships. Talk about the ultimate mirror for you and your life. So how can we counteract this inherent pressure we feel around this time of year? How can we enjoy the spirit of the holidays without getting caught up with all the hype? How can we get through family gatherings without feeling any angst or depression the day after?

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