Breakups are painful. It really doesn’t matter if you’re losing someone you’ve known for six months or six years. When you love someone and want a relationship to work, accepting the loss is painstaking. While I would never discount the reality of how important another human being is to another, losing a relationship is complex. In reality, you are losing much more than the person you’ve come to know as your significant other. That is why loss can take many turns and go down varying depths. Here are some examples of what you may be losing in addition to the person and relationship you valued.
You may be losing
- The fantasy of what you thought this relationship would be.
- The hope that you would never feel lonely or unlovable again.
- The sense of security, financial or otherwise.
- Physical touch, sexual intimacy and affection.
- The family you’ve created as you know it to be.
- The feeling of being “okay” in the eyes of society.
- A sense of power or control.
- The belief that life is fair and just.
- The belief that love conquers all (and any other beliefs you had on life and love).
- A way to avoid being self-reliant or fully empowered (or any other things about yourself or life that scare you).
- A way of life and all the perks that go with being in a committed intimate relationship. This may include cooking, cleaning, nursing, home repairs, travel companionship, and overall support in handling everyday life.
- Someone with whom you’ve shared your heart, your soul and your life—a friend and lover—someone you will miss—even though you know the relationship was not meant to be.
If you are going through a loss, give yourself time to grieve all the loses this breakup entails. Get the support you deserve. And remember, this too will pass.
If you or someone you or someone you know is going through a breakup, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.
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About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love
About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz