What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Blog Index
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Sunday
Oct132013

Parenting: When to hold on and when to let go

One of the most important aspects to parenting comes in the form of letting go. While newborns require the experience of attachment, as children get older, parents must face the sometimes painful task of creating healthy separation from their children. And while newborns come into this world completely dependent upon others for their survival, as they grow up, they must learn to separate and individuate. This is the cycle of life. This is the unique quality that parent-child relationships have.

Children at different stages of development require different levels of separation and independence. Sound judgment and common sense often lead the way. Better yet, reading a great parenting book or following a great blog (no personal accolades intended :-)) can help give you the information you need to support you along the way. It doesn't matter if you stumble. What matters is that you understand the importance in preparing your children for adulthood in age appropriate ways. In other words, don't unconsciously protect your children from growing up. Don't enable them to stay dependent, insecure, and fearful. Your job is to support and make choices that lend themselves toward helping your children become independent and live a great life. 

And believe it or not, this starts from the very beginning. Babies need the space to crawl and explore their environment. Toddlers need the freedom to learn that actions have consequences. School aged kids need to discover how the world works and their place within it. And adolescents need to know that they have the confidence and competence to go and make a life for themselves.

Letting go and allowing your children to make and learn from their own choices is fundamental. Encouraging your children to take risks, stretch and grow is vital. Modeling the art of separating and letting go is mandated.

So why is separating from our children so difficult for so many?

Here are just a few of the multitude of reasons why parents hang on—too long!!

If you find it difficult to separate from your children or allow your children to separate from you, you might identify with one or more of the following dynamics: (Click Read in Browser to access full article. Parents and future parents will not want to miss this one!

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Sep112013

Desperate to Win Back Your Ex? What Are You Really Desperate For?

I get tons of emails from people asking me how to win their boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, you name it, back. They are in pain and desperate. They regret breaking up with their significant other or worse, regret causing the breakup in the first place—or so it seems.

As people struggle with the transition from being a ‘we’ to an ‘I’, it is normal to want a do-over—to go back and make things right. I find this to be true regardless if you were the one who made the decision to break up or not. What's even more interesting, is that this phenomenon occurs even when the relationship and/or the "ex" was less than desirable—people will ignore all the reasons the relationship ended in the first place. During this painful time of detaching and feeling like there is no solid ground beneath you, one's memory of the relationship becomes distorted. All of a sudden, all the horrible things your ex did or the fact that you wanted a serious relationship and your ex did not, goes to the way side.  All you can think about is how to get him or her back. The ‘getting back’ becomes paramount regardless of the circumstances. You can't seem to stop and consider if you got what you wanted, would you want what you got?

Having said this, there are those situations when someone sabotaged a relationship or ran from one out of fear who later discovered that their fears were not nearly as important or relevant as being with the person they grew to love. Under these circumstances, it makes sense to revisit the relationship with a new appreciation and understanding of what really matters to you and what you're willing to do to win your love back and make it work. However, these individuals typically do not exhibit any desperate energy. They choose to contact their ex and have an open and honest conversation about what their past behaviors were all about and what they'd like to create from here on out. Sometimes it's too late and sometimes it's not. They accept whatever verdict ensues.

But for those of you that feel desperate, as if your life cannot go on without your ex, here are some things for you to consider before you go about trying to cajole and manipulate anyone back. Ask yourself the following:

To read full article, click Read in Browser.

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Aug112013

Do I Stay or Do I Leave? When to Call it Quits 

You've been unhappy in your relationship for some time. You and your significant other have argued, negotiated and retreated in your attempts to navigate the differences between you.  You've tried counseling but you found that you were the only one interested in making a change. In the end, you've come to the conclusion that you and your partner are simply not a good match. As painful as it is, your love for your mate is faltering and you can no longer accept things as they are. You long for a different kind of relationship and are unwilling to settle for anything less. You've let go of any hope for anything better--you've worked through your last ounce of resistance to letting go.  You tell yourself that tonight you will tell your partner that you want to end the relationship. 

Making the final decision to end a relationship is not easy. Typically, it takes time, a lot of pain and multiple attempts to make things better before accepting that the relationship is no longer working. Some people struggle endlessly, prolonging the agonizing decision much longer than is necessary. Others may jump ship too quickly, accepting defeat before they've given the effort and time necessary to fix what feels broken. It is hard to know when to call it quits. It's hard to give up on someone you love, a relationship you value and the hope that this would be the one to last a lifetime.

To help those of you that are currently wrestling with the dilemma of "Do I stay or do I go?"--here are some guidelines to help you figure out when to call it quits and when to hang in there and give it one more try. 

Read the important article in its entirety - Click Read in Browser

FYI- As you may have already heard, Gmail is rolling out some new features to automatically filter your email messages for you (this also applies if you use Google Apps for your business email address!).

Gmail is phasing in a new "tabbed inbox" system. You may have already seen it in your inbox if you use Gmail. If not, you'll see it soon. Google is rolling the new system out to users overtime. They've split your inbox into 5 separate inboxes and created tabs across the top labeling each "Primary, Social, Promotions, Updates and Forums".

My emails to you will most likely fall under promotions. To ensure that you get the information you want from me, here’s what you can do.

Option 1:

1 - Click on the Promotions inbox tab.

2 - Drag any emails from people you want to hear from and drop them onto the tab that says “Primary.” Then, when it asks if you want future emails to go into your Primary inbox, just click yes.

For the next few weeks, as Gmail phases these new tabbed inboxes in, be sure to check your Promotions inbox to make sure nothing else you really want is getting caught (and lost) in it.

Option 2:   If you want to completely remove these new tabs - go to the Settings box in the upper right hand corner of your inbox and select "Settings." Click on the "Inbox" tab and unselect all categories but "Primary" (don't forget to save your changes).

I hope this information is helpful to you. Thanks in advance for making sure we can stay connected!

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Jul142013

Relationship Help Q&A Video "My Ex has Cancer and I feel... I'm a bad person for feeling this way?"

Relationship Help Q&A Video "My Ex has Cancer and I feel justice has been served. I'm a bad person for feeling this way?"

Watch and learn as Julie Orlov answers your love and relationship questions. Today's questions deals with anger and resentment toward your ex -- even if he or she has a life threatening illness! Learn how to let go, forgive, and move on rather than hold on to your resentment and indulge your fantasies of revenge.

Watch the video on YouTube or directly on my blog (Click Read in Browser to connect)

http://youtu.be/cuZkVb0UE1k

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Jun162013

Is Your Spouse Your Roommate or Your Lover?

You can't believe it's summer already. Another school year has gone by. You are trying to decide where to go on vacation and any idea you have seems like a lot of effort. If you're really honest, the idea of a family vacation seems exhausting. Taking a long weekend away by yourself sounds so much more enticing. You look across the kitchen table at your husband. He is busy writing out checks and reminds you that he will be working late next week so you will need to pick up the kids from their various afternoon activities.

Things are comfortable between the two of you. After all, you’ve been married for almost two decades. The household runs smoothly. The kids' needs are taken care of. But you realize that you and your husband have settled into a life together that feels more like roommates and less like lovers. Over the years your sex life has slowly withered away to an early morning quickie every other month or so.  You think back on the days when your sex life was good. You made an effort to wear sexy lingerie—he made an effort to seduce you in the ways you liked—you both made an effort to mix it up and have fun. Now it seems like passion is the last thing on your minds, settling instead for a comfy night on the couch watching TV until it's time to get some sleep. And while you still have warm feelings for your spouse, that flame seems almost extinguished. Tonight as you sit across from your husband, you feel lonely, longing to reignite some passion—longing to look at him as your lover, once again.

If this scenario sounds familiar, you are not alone. Many couples after some years have gone by, or when the kids have moved out, look at each other as if they were compatible roommates. And for many, there comes a time when that comfort level is no longer acceptable. Couples hit a cross road every few years and for most couples, this cross road will be met at least once, if not more, throughout the lifetime of their relationship.

If you are experiencing the roommate blues, here are five things you can do to bring passion back into your relationship. Click Read in Browser to access full article

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