What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential


More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

Join the Conversation:


Blog Index
The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.

Entries in therapy (4)


What’s the Rush? Slow Down...

I went to my doctor’s office the other week for my annual physical. He asked how I was doing and I said I was feeling tired, as if my fatigue had a hold of me and wasn’t letting go. He replied by saying that fatigue is the number one complaint he hears from every single person he sees week in and week out. We began to talk about why this is so—why is our culture so driven to do more, faster. Employers demand more output with less resources from their employees every year. Kids have more homework and extra-curriculum activities than any other time in recent history. Americans demand instant gratification in every area of our lives—and the internet and social media have helped deliver on that promise. We not only want services and products delivered in supersonic speed, we have come to expect that information and responses from emails, texts and postings come instantaneously.

Even in the area of relationships, people expect each other to meet our physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual and sexual needs when we have them and in the way we want them met.

No wonder we’re tired.

To manage all this fatigue, we’ve become addicted to adrenaline, energy drinks, caffeine, sugar, illegal and prescription drugs. We need these to keep up a pace that isn’t conducive to our human condition. Basically, we’re a sleep deprived, stressed-out mess.

It doesn’t take long to see the consequences of our never-ending pursuit of “doing more, faster.”

Our physical health, personal relationships and quality of life continues to suffer.

What will it take for us to get the message?

I don’t know. But what I do know is that we all, myself included, need to SLOW Down!

This week I challenge you to slow down. Say no to the assignment that will push you over the edge. Turn off your cell phone and computer. Spend time with your friends and family outside in nature. Sleep in this weekend and take an afternoon nap. Set healthy limits and boundaries. Your life depends on it!

Let’s all slow down….

I’d love to hear what you did (or better said, what you didn’t do) this week to slow down. Feel free to leave your comments by clicking here.  But remember, no rush :-).

Be well,


P.S. If you or someone you love wants to create a better life, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...


Healing Only Takes Place within The Space of Love

Everyone has wounds. We accumulate our wounds throughout our lifetime when we experience emotional and psychological injury. Just as you cannot prevent scrapping a knee or breaking a bone, nor can you prevent emotional hurt, pain and trauma. We work hard to protect our wounds from further pain and heal them as best we can. Sometimes we’re successful and sometimes we’re not.

Our wounds get triggered and we protect them in many varying ways. We protect our wounds by

  • Numbing the pain with alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, gambling and sex
  • Attacking others when we feel they might expose our wounds and cause more pain
  • Avoiding situations that may pour salt into our wounds
  • Distracting ourselves from dealing with our wounds via all kinds of self-protective strategies

We respond to others’ wounds in varying ways as well. Some of these include

  • Taking advantage of their vulnerability and using them as a means of control
  • Becoming angry over the impact that their wounds have on them and us
  • Attempting to kiss their “boo-boo” and make it all better
  • Discovering our own wounds through their wounds and competing over which wound is worse and deserves the most attention
  • Finding a way to avoid and abandon those who reveal their wounds because it causes too much chaos 

While we try to contend with our wounds in many different ways, one truth exists.

Wounds only heal within a space of love…

Not intimidation, confrontation, anger or fear…

Only with love can our wounds heal.

So here are some ways to create healing in the world around you

  • Listen to others’ woundedness in the spirit of understanding and acceptance
  • Validate their experiences and provide reassurance whenever possible
  • Have an open heart and show compassion
  • Let others know that you love them unconditionally
  • Express your hopes and desires for them
  • Set boundaries in the spirit of relationship
  • Send them your thoughts and prayers for healing and peace

Wishing all of you healing and peace,


P.S. If you or someone you know would like to heal their wounds, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...


How was Your Valentine's Day?

I hope all of you had a wonderful Valentine's Day and are enjoying the long holiday weekend.

I know that some of you are feeling relieved that Valentine's Day is over. When you are not in a relationship and wish you were, this holiday can be a stressful reminder of your unwanted relationship status.

I also know that for others, you are feeling the let down and disappointment of another "romantic" holiday gone bad. Your partner either underestimated the importance of this day or under-appreciated your efforts. Either way, you are left feeling insecure about the future and wishing things were different.

The relationship is certainly too good to leave but lacks the passion and fulfillment you desire. You know that with some solid communication and renewed commitment, this relationship can take the next step forward. Somehow, when you try to engage in meaningful conversations about how to improve things, the conversation soon turns into one or both you feeling defensive. When this happens, no one really understands or appreciates what's important to the other. What you hoped would become the start of something better turns out to be the start of something worse.

You're not sure where things go wrong and feel helpless to engage in conversations that result in both you and your significant other feeling heard, understood and accepted. The goal of getting your needs met and finding a mutually satisfactory outcome eludes you. You've tried many different tacks but still hit the same old wall again and again.

If you relate to this scenario, you are not alone. Many couples find themselves stuck in a way of relating and communicating that doesn't get them the results they want. There is a way through. It takes a professional who can quickly understand the dynamics at play and knows how to guide you toward a different and more effective way of approaching relationship issues. I know a lot of people are hesitant to bring an outsider into their relationship for help. It can be scary to reach out. Most people fear that the relationship will get worse, not better. Others believe the therapist will side with their significant other and sabotage their needs.

The truth is neither. An experienced and well qualified relationship professional knows how to approach the issues in a way where everyone feels heard and supported. A good therapist knows how to guide the communication forward toward new insights, understandings and approaches to problem solving. While not all relationships are able to grow and thrive, most can and will.

Working on your relationship is not a quick fix. Shifting perspectives and creating positive change takes place over time. Relationships are complex. The gifted professional can discern where the greatest leverage is for the best outcome. Don't sell yourself short. Get the help you and your relationships deserve.

I've devoted my 28 years as a professional psychotherapist, coach and consultant helping people build strong and intimate relationships. I would love to make a difference in your life as well.

So whether you are dealing with a relationship crisis or would just like help with how you approach relationship building, here's my special gift to you. For the remainder of the month, I am offering a one hour session for only $150.00.  That's a $100.00 savings!  I think you will be pleasantly surprised with how your relationship can shift with just one session. I am able to quickly understand the issues at hand and work with you to shift what is and begin to build what you desire.

Take advantage of the savings and start to transform your life today. Simply email me at jorlov@julieorlov.com and write FEBRUARY SPECIAL on the subject line. Let me know what days and times work best for you and I will respond with available time slots. Don't let too much time go by. I only have so many time slots available for the remainder of the month and want you to get the benefits!

Wishing you well,


P.S. If you or someone you know needs help in finding love, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...


Love and Relationship Q&A w'Julie Orlov "Why is it so difficult to forgive?"

Today's question deals with how difficult it can be to forgive someone who has hurt or disappointed you. This video Q&A talks about the power of forgiveness, how to move from anger and defensiveness toward forgiveness and why it will set you free!

Click “Read in Browser” to access the video. And for those of you that rather read than watch, enjoy my article on the topic entitled “The Art of Forgiveness.”

The Art of Forgiveness

When someone or something has done you wrong, it is easy to get lost in feeling hurt, disappointed, angry, and betrayed. It is easy to feel foolish, stupid and just plain resistant to the notion of “forgive and forget.” We erroneously believe that when we hold on to our feelings and beliefs about what was done to us, we hold on to our power. Furthermore, we believe that if our "perpetrator" is punished or pays enough restitution, we will find our way to feeling satisfied that justice has been served.

Ironically, neither is true. Revenge can be a bottomless pit. And holding on to anger and hurt simply drains you from your power rather than restoring it.

The only way out is through forgiveness. When we forgive, we take back our power. We find peace of mind. We use our energy in ways that serve us and leave the person that hurt us with the space to deal with his actions and her issues, as opposed to you and your emotional reaction. In other words, forgiveness restores power and responsibility where it belongs, respectively. 

So the next time you are faced with finding your way toward forgiveness, here are some thoughts to consider...

Click to read more ...