What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

Join the Conversation:

  

Blog Index
The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.

Entries in The Pathway to Love (23)

Sunday
Oct272013

Love and Relationship Q&A w'Julie Orlov "Why is it so difficult to forgive?"

Today's question deals with how difficult it can be to forgive someone who has hurt or disappointed you. This video Q&A talks about the power of forgiveness, how to move from anger and defensiveness toward forgiveness and why it will set you free!

Click “Read in Browser” to access the video. And for those of you that rather read than watch, enjoy my article on the topic entitled “The Art of Forgiveness.”

The Art of Forgiveness

When someone or something has done you wrong, it is easy to get lost in feeling hurt, disappointed, angry, and betrayed. It is easy to feel foolish, stupid and just plain resistant to the notion of “forgive and forget.” We erroneously believe that when we hold on to our feelings and beliefs about what was done to us, we hold on to our power. Furthermore, we believe that if our "perpetrator" is punished or pays enough restitution, we will find our way to feeling satisfied that justice has been served.

Ironically, neither is true. Revenge can be a bottomless pit. And holding on to anger and hurt simply drains you from your power rather than restoring it.

The only way out is through forgiveness. When we forgive, we take back our power. We find peace of mind. We use our energy in ways that serve us and leave the person that hurt us with the space to deal with his actions and her issues, as opposed to you and your emotional reaction. In other words, forgiveness restores power and responsibility where it belongs, respectively. 

So the next time you are faced with finding your way toward forgiveness, here are some thoughts to consider...

Click to read more ...

Saturday
Jul272013

The Truth about Relationships

Relationships take work. No one likes the word "work" let alone doing it. People prefer to do things and have things that require less effort and more ease. It's just human nature. If one has the choice to climb up a hill or down a hill, most would choose the downhill route. However, hills that only go one way down do not exist. Relationships work the same. You can't expect a relationship to be good and easy without having the experience of the uphill route from time to time. This is especially true as you traverse the second phase of relationship building. Phase two* is that challenging space  between the time when things are magically (and temporarily) easy and where real deep love and intimacy reside.

We humans do what we can to avoid the uphill struggle. We avoid, sabotage, deny, and flee. In the end, we lose—because to avoid the uphill climb, we also miss out on the joy and satisfaction of having come down the other side. We are tempted to cut the journey short and stay stuck in a small and often lonely place.

Unfortunately, some people take advantage of our vulnerabilities. They will try to sell you the idea that relationships can and should be easy—and of course, they have just the thing that you can purchase to get you there in 10 easy steps or less. We all know deep down that this is nonsense. Relationships require the same kind of rigor, commitment, discipline and attention that building anything worthwhile requires over time. You can't get to phase three or four* in a relationship without doing the work of phase two. You simply can't skip phases. Every time we try to create shortcuts in life we create a mess instead.

So as much as I'd like to promise you a downhill journey, the truth is we all need to adopt or readopt a solid work ethic. Creating long lasting and satisfying relationships require a certain kind of discipline—one that understands it takes consistent effort over time—one that knows if this is done, then slowly, over the years, one can and will build a relationship that is strong and vibrant, one that will last and flourish, one that honors and protects.

This topic is so important. There is much more to read! Click Read in Browser to finish the article!

Click to read more ...

Saturday
Jun292013

Declare a New State of Independence for Yourself

As I rule, I try to resist the pressure to write articles with holiday themes. It just feels a bit cliché and there are so many of them running rampant out there in cyberspace. Sometimes I feel the spirit that lies within our holidays gets lost within the onslaught of messages.

However, today I awoke with a thought about our upcoming Independence Day holiday. For me, this holiday represents a day to enjoy friends and family, along with BBQ's and fireworks. And to be honest, I focus more on the Wimbledon Tennis matches and less on what it means for our country.  At this point in time, I feel the spirit from which our country was founded has become lost. We have less integrity, less freedom, and less authentic interactions with one another.  Greed, instant gratification, and “more is better” seem to have taken hold. I know many, if not most of you, adhere to different standards but these current values have been ingrained into our culture and our relationships, at a tremendous cost to us all.

With the intention of helping bring our old values back—or as some may suggest, new and improved values—I  am offering a new set of declarations for this coming Thursday, July Fourth.  In so doing, my hope is that we will remember on our national holiday what is truly important. So, among the masses of Happy Fourth of July wishes, I encourage you to declare a new state of independence in the following ways. 

I declare the freedom to

  1. Be who I am without apology or repression
  2. Be fully self-expressed
  3. Be free from fear of rejection or abandonment
  4. Be fully empowered to say yes or no without guilt or regret
  5. Love and treat others with a compassionate and open heart
  6. Take risks with courage and live a life of passion
  7. Take full responsibility for my actions, thoughts, and feelings
  8. Live my life with integrity and learn from my mistakes
  9. Do what I can to make someone else's day a bit better
  10. Laugh whenever possible, smile as much as possible, and find joy wherever possible.

Have a wonderful and safe Fourth of July celebration! 

If you or someone you know is struggling with creating strong and loving relationships, please don't hesitate to contact me. I am here to provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

As always, I’m here to support you in creating a transformational life and strong and powerful relationships

Be well,

Julie

P.S. And don't forget to catch my radio/TV show Pathways to Love w'Julie Orlov LIVE every Sunday 1:30pm PST on LATalkLive!

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Jun022013

Is the Grass Always Greener on the Other Side?

“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” – Sound familiar? It should. This well-known phrase captures what every person in or out of a relationship thinks from time to time. If you’re currently single, you may be thinking about how much you miss having a partner—someone with whom you can share love, laughter, and life experiences. You long for someone to hold and be with—a relationship that fills those basic human needs and alleviates your moments of loneliness and emptiness.

If you’re in a committed relationship, you just may be thinking about days gone by when you did not have to answer to anyone—when you could sleep, eat, play and shop—when, where and how you pleased. You long for some alone time and the feeling of independence. You miss your freedom.

I want you to know that “missing” the other side is not only normal, but expected. There are benefits and costs to being single and coupled. There will always be a longing, an appreciation and a loss, regardless of your relationship status. It is not a matter of if you feel these things, it is how you move through these times of discontent. No one package is perfect. So here are some realties and coping strategies to help you deal with your moments of doubt. 

If you are transitioning from singlehood to couplehood, or couplehood to singlehood, here is what you have in store and how you can cope. Be prepared to deal with the following:

Click Read in Browser to access full article

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Apr072013

Do You Create Security or Doubt in Your Significant Relationship? 

When you are moving from a dating relationship to a committed monogamous relationship, you become more vulnerable. There is now more at stake. Your investment in the relationship has risen and your attachment to your significant other has solidified. This is all good. How you handle this transition can make a difference in how solid or shaky the next stage of your relationship feels. And remember, even if you’ve been with someone for a very long time, this information still applies to you. People tend to deal with vulnerability in one of two ways. The first is finding ways to feel less vulnerable—to transfer the risk of loss and sense of powerlessness to your significant other while creating an illusion of having power and control over the relationship. Some examples of this may be... (Click Read in Browser to read full article)

BIG NEWS! My radio/internet TV show “Pathways to Love” on LATalkLive will be moving to a new day and time. Starting April 14th you can catch us LIVE every Sunday at 1:30pm PST at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love. As always, call in with your questions and comments at 323-473-3100! (Until then, you can still watch us live on Fridays, 2:30pm PST and always catch the archived recorded shows at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love)

Click to read more ...