What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in sex (3)

Thursday
Mar312016

Let’s Talk About Sex

Sexual intimacy is an important aspect of a romantic committed relationship. And yes, for the most of us, the intensity and lust in a long-term relationship fluctuates over time. That doesn’t mean in only has a downward spiral—it means that how a couple experiences and creates their sexual intimacy will shift in all directions throughout the lifetime of the relationship. This is based on a number of factors including

  •          Familiarity
  •          Trust
  •          Boredom in the bedroom
  •          Health status
  •          Stress level
  •          Children – newborns, teenagers, empty nestees
  •          Age
  •          Relationship issues, including levels of conflict and connection
  •          Hormone levels and sex drive
  •          Prioritizing sexual connection and intimacy
  •          Work demands and work fulfillment
  •          Fatigue
  •          Fitness
  •          Sexual experimentation
  •          Comfort with one’s body and sexuality
  •          Openness in communicating needs and desires
  •          Desire to please one’s partner
  •          Making sex playful and fun
  •          Major life events and changes

As you can see from the list above, human sexuality and sexual intimacy in relationships is quite complex. Couples need to attend to their sexual relationship with the same intentionality that they do in other areas (e.g., finances, raising children, resolving issues, life changes, extended family, etc.).

Here are some things to consider if you feel your sex life and sexual intimacy is not where you’d like it be.

  1. Communicate – keep the lines of communication open in regards to how you are feeling about your sex life and what, if anything, would you like to be different. Your partner can’t work on pleasing you if he/she does not know how you are feeling and what would make things better.

  2. Accept – there may be differences between your and your partner’s needs when it comes to sex. There is no right or wrong in how often you have sex or how you like it. It is important to respect and accept your differences without making anyone wrong. Find a way to navigate the differences so each partner can get some, if not all of their needs met. Stretch your comfort zone, accommodate your partner’s needs, and find ways to make sex safe, playful and meaningful for both of you.

  3. Connect – it is important to maintain intimacy and connection regardless of how that is accomplished. Sex is only one way to create connection. If someone is dealing with a lot of stress or an illness or you just had your first baby, give yourselves a break and take the pressure off the bedroom. Holding hands, cuddling and listening to each other may be the best way to connect for the time being. 

  4. Be patient and know the pendulum will swing back again. If you are both committed to creating and re-creating your passion for one another, be assured that the passion is not lost. If you’d like a more active sex life, then see how you can create some energy around this. Take the initiative. Be proactive and look for opportunities to reignite the spark.

  5. Take the opportunity to see what changes need to made in yourself, your relationship and your life. A lack of sex drive or interest may be a signal that something needs to change. You may need to address your life style, work load, communication, health or relationship. And don’t forget to get some help if you’re stuck. There’s no reason to go at this alone. In fact, getting outside help from a qualified professional may be the solution you need.

If you or someone you know is unsatisfied with their sexual intimate relationship, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

Be well,

Julie

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Saturday
Oct042014

3 Questions to Ask Yourself before Sleeping with Your Ex

I get tons of emails from people who are having sex with their ex. Some struggle with the realization that it is not good for them but have difficulty cutting the cord and staying away. Others find the situation harmless and claim that the casual encounters meet their needs. And while these readers say they accept the fact that they will never get back together with their ex, I can't help but wonder why they look to me for final approval. Is there an underlying concern? Are they in denial?

To help all of you out there who have or may be considering having sex with your ex, here are 3 questions to ask yourself before deciding if having sex with your ex is right for you.

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Sunday
Feb102013

5 Reasons to Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Heart!

I received an email the other day from a woman who read my article “7 Reasons to Acknowledge Anniversaries”—she requested an article in kind about Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day presents us with a double bind. On the one hand, we are bombarded with advertisements, talk show segments, and subtle (or not so subtle) messages on how important it is to do the right thing by your sweetheart. On the other hand, people push back on the commercial hype and pressure, holding Valentine’s Day responsible for the inevitable disappointment that ensues, claiming it is a “contrived Hallmark” holiday designed to put unrealistic expectations on love and relationships. These individuals tend to rebel, choosing to ignore the holiday all together or do the bare minimum of bringing home some flowers and calling it a day. And then of course, there are those out there who do not currently have a sweetheart, many of which hide out for the 24 hours until all the focus on lovers fades so that they can once again, feel good about being single. So how do we reconcile all these conflicting feelings about Valentine’s Day? After all, it is supposed to be the holiday of love, not dread. So in honor of those of you that still believe in a day that celebrates love, I’m offering 5 reasons to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. And for those of you that wish this holiday would simply go away and stay away, read on—you just might find a good reason to celebrate come February 14th! Don’t forget to join me for my LIVE Create Your Pathway to Love Workshop on February 23, 9am-1pm in Hermosa Beach, California. For more information and to register, go to www.yourpathwaytolove.eventbrite.com.

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