What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in relationship problems (8)

Saturday
Jan302016

What’s the Rush? Slow Down...

I went to my doctor’s office the other week for my annual physical. He asked how I was doing and I said I was feeling tired, as if my fatigue had a hold of me and wasn’t letting go. He replied by saying that fatigue is the number one complaint he hears from every single person he sees week in and week out. We began to talk about why this is so—why is our culture so driven to do more, faster. Employers demand more output with less resources from their employees every year. Kids have more homework and extra-curriculum activities than any other time in recent history. Americans demand instant gratification in every area of our lives—and the internet and social media have helped deliver on that promise. We not only want services and products delivered in supersonic speed, we have come to expect that information and responses from emails, texts and postings come instantaneously.

Even in the area of relationships, people expect each other to meet our physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual and sexual needs when we have them and in the way we want them met.

No wonder we’re tired.

To manage all this fatigue, we’ve become addicted to adrenaline, energy drinks, caffeine, sugar, illegal and prescription drugs. We need these to keep up a pace that isn’t conducive to our human condition. Basically, we’re a sleep deprived, stressed-out mess.

It doesn’t take long to see the consequences of our never-ending pursuit of “doing more, faster.”

Our physical health, personal relationships and quality of life continues to suffer.

What will it take for us to get the message?

I don’t know. But what I do know is that we all, myself included, need to SLOW Down!

This week I challenge you to slow down. Say no to the assignment that will push you over the edge. Turn off your cell phone and computer. Spend time with your friends and family outside in nature. Sleep in this weekend and take an afternoon nap. Set healthy limits and boundaries. Your life depends on it!

Let’s all slow down….

I’d love to hear what you did (or better said, what you didn’t do) this week to slow down. Feel free to leave your comments by clicking here.  But remember, no rush :-).

Be well,

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you love wants to create a better life, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Oct252015

People are Both/And

As you get to know your significant others, you will discover new aspects of their character and personality. Some of these will be appealing to you and some will not. We all have different sides to our character—we are all capable of being kind and loving, selfish and cruel, wise and capable, foolish and careless. These are the dualities of what it means to be human. We all share the same traits that make us human—a full range of emotions, behaviors and instincts. Some remain dormant until provoked; others reveal themselves more readily and consistently.

So don’t be surprised to find that one day, out of the blue, your loved one acts in a way that surprises you. Don’t be alarmed when you discover that your new love who was so accepting, now shows his frustration and judgment. It doesn’t mean that the loving part of who that person is has gone away. It simply means that you are now experiencing more of who he or she is. People are not either/or. People are both/and.

I am both kind and loving, selfish and demanding, patient and compassionate, judgmental and intolerant. I am all of it. And as the people in my life get to know me more intimately, they understand that I am a complex human being capable of behaving in many ways, feeling many emotions, and developing as a human being all the time. And while my dominant personality is basically friendly, kind and positive, that doesn’t mean I don’t have less desirable traits that show up from time to time. I am both/and. When I’m feeling impatient and act accordingly, that doesn’t mean the patient part of me has disappeared. It simply means that the circumstances that exist in both my internal and external world has resulted in me showing up as impatient. Another set of circumstances will come along soon and another part of myself will show up as a result.

So as you settle in and get to know someone, remember they are a both/and. Discover and accept all of who he/she is and then decide if the relationship works for you or not. All the human archetypes live within us. This does not change. What does change is how we accept and manage the aspects of who we are as human beings. The work of being human is not to change what it means to be human. The work of being human is becoming self-aware, managing our emotional world, and making conscious choices on how we want to live our lives and relate to one another.

Take the time to get to know yourself. Take the time to get to know others. Embrace your relationships from the perspective of both/and. Make the commitment to do the work of what it means to be human and create meaningful and fulfilling relationships in every area of your life.

Be well,

Julie

If you or someone you know would like to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, please contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Monday
Apr272015

Quote of the Week: Why do you annoy me?

"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."   Elizabeth Taylor

Let's face it. We all annoy others and others annoy us. So if you find a person you love annoying--or vice versa--it's just because you're both breathing. --Julie Orlov :-)

Have a great week everyone!

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know needs help in finding love and developing relationships, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Saturday
Mar212015

Do You Want a Transactional or Transformational Relationship?

As your relationship grows over time, you and your partner will need to decide what kind of relationship you want—transactional or transformational. A transactional relationship is based on two people negotiating on getting their needs met. It often looks like


I’ll be more considerate of your need for space if you promise to take me out dancing at least once a week.

If you stop criticizing me on how I parent the kids, I will be more motivated to step in and help.

I’ll take care of the laundry this weekend so you can enjoy a day with your friends.

Most relationships function in this way. There is nothing wrong with transactional relationships—all relationships must address negotiating individual differences and needs as well as taking care of the day to day tasks associated with being part of a family.

So what about a transformational relationship? What does that entail? A transformational relationship goes beyond negotiating the needs of individuals that reside within the relationship. A transformational relationship looks like

  • Relating to your relationship as a living, breathing life force in and of itself
  • Creating a shared purpose and meaning for the relationship (that is, a vision)
  • Supporting the vision by acting and making choices accordingly
  • Understanding that the well-being of the relationship is equally if not more important than the well-being of any one individual within
  • Finding ways that further and deepen the purpose and meaning of the relationship
  • Taking the time to revisit and redefine the relationship’s purpose and meaning as the needs of the relationship change and evolve over time

Creating a transformational relationship is easier said than done. It requires putting the needs of the relationship first, before the needs of any one individual. You and your partner take the time to explore what the relationship needs to flourish and respond accordingly. You proactively decide as a couple what kind of relationship you want to create. Transformational relationships often result in less conflict and more intimacy, freedom of self-expression, fulfillment and sense of purpose.

If you’d like more information on the four phases of a developing relationship, including phase four: relational transformation, go to www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love.

It takes time and effort to get there but the rewards are worth it. If you or someone you know is interested in learning how to create a transformational relationship, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Feb152015

How was Your Valentine's Day?

I hope all of you had a wonderful Valentine's Day and are enjoying the long holiday weekend.

I know that some of you are feeling relieved that Valentine's Day is over. When you are not in a relationship and wish you were, this holiday can be a stressful reminder of your unwanted relationship status.

I also know that for others, you are feeling the let down and disappointment of another "romantic" holiday gone bad. Your partner either underestimated the importance of this day or under-appreciated your efforts. Either way, you are left feeling insecure about the future and wishing things were different.

The relationship is certainly too good to leave but lacks the passion and fulfillment you desire. You know that with some solid communication and renewed commitment, this relationship can take the next step forward. Somehow, when you try to engage in meaningful conversations about how to improve things, the conversation soon turns into one or both you feeling defensive. When this happens, no one really understands or appreciates what's important to the other. What you hoped would become the start of something better turns out to be the start of something worse.

You're not sure where things go wrong and feel helpless to engage in conversations that result in both you and your significant other feeling heard, understood and accepted. The goal of getting your needs met and finding a mutually satisfactory outcome eludes you. You've tried many different tacks but still hit the same old wall again and again.

If you relate to this scenario, you are not alone. Many couples find themselves stuck in a way of relating and communicating that doesn't get them the results they want. There is a way through. It takes a professional who can quickly understand the dynamics at play and knows how to guide you toward a different and more effective way of approaching relationship issues. I know a lot of people are hesitant to bring an outsider into their relationship for help. It can be scary to reach out. Most people fear that the relationship will get worse, not better. Others believe the therapist will side with their significant other and sabotage their needs.

The truth is neither. An experienced and well qualified relationship professional knows how to approach the issues in a way where everyone feels heard and supported. A good therapist knows how to guide the communication forward toward new insights, understandings and approaches to problem solving. While not all relationships are able to grow and thrive, most can and will.

Working on your relationship is not a quick fix. Shifting perspectives and creating positive change takes place over time. Relationships are complex. The gifted professional can discern where the greatest leverage is for the best outcome. Don't sell yourself short. Get the help you and your relationships deserve.

I've devoted my 28 years as a professional psychotherapist, coach and consultant helping people build strong and intimate relationships. I would love to make a difference in your life as well.

So whether you are dealing with a relationship crisis or would just like help with how you approach relationship building, here's my special gift to you. For the remainder of the month, I am offering a one hour session for only $150.00.  That's a $100.00 savings!  I think you will be pleasantly surprised with how your relationship can shift with just one session. I am able to quickly understand the issues at hand and work with you to shift what is and begin to build what you desire.

Take advantage of the savings and start to transform your life today. Simply email me at jorlov@julieorlov.com and write FEBRUARY SPECIAL on the subject line. Let me know what days and times work best for you and I will respond with available time slots. Don't let too much time go by. I only have so many time slots available for the remainder of the month and want you to get the benefits!

Wishing you well,

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know needs help in finding love, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...