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“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in relationship advice (13)

Thursday
Jan152015

When Do I Speak Up and When Do I Keep Quiet? 

People get excited when they meet someone new. We put on our best "face" and watch our p's and q's. We don't want to share too much too soon for fear of judgment and rejection. And in some respects, this is wise. The beginning of a relationship is devoted to having fun and getting to know someone slowly over time. I know for me that if I knew some things about my husband when we first went out that I know now, I might have sent him packing. But as we get to know someone in the fullness of who they are, we understand things that occurred in their lives within a greater context. Too much too soon can be a bad thing. TMI is sometimes very real.

On the other hand, we should never give our power away for fear of judgment and rejection. We hold back from speaking out early on in our relationships when it is not in our best interest. We hold back from sharing our truth even in well established relationships and lose ourselves because of it. We give our power away too often and too easily. There are circumstances from which we should never let fear of judgment, rejection or ridicule silence us. 

These include (Click Read in Browser to access this important information!)

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Sunday
Nov022014

How Is Your Relationship Like Your Checking Account?

As it was the first of the month, I spent part of the day taking care of my bills. As I entered all my deposits and withdrawals from my checking account into my online registry, I realized what a wonderful analogy this is for our relationships. So what does a checking account have to do with your relationships? 

If you only take withdrawals and never make any deposits, your account balance will eventually go to zero. If you continue to spend irresponsibly, your account will eventually be closed and the bank will charge you for insufficient funds. It’s a lose-lose operation.

The same goes for relationships. If you only take without giving, your relationship will become non-sustainable as well. A healthy relationship requires regular on-going deposits—deposits of love, good will, nurturing, support, favors, and just taking care of business. Without these, the deficit will lead to dissatisfaction and resignation. The relationship will not survive.

If you put some money into your checking account and never do anything with it, you may not suffer any immediate loss but you will not earn any return on your initial investment either. In today’s economy, money must be put to work so that it can work for you. It’s a two-way street.

The same goes for relationships. If you put a lot of effort in during its’ formation but then assume that’s all you need to do, the relationship will not bring much return on your investment. When you understand what it takes to make the relationship work over time, the relationship will bring you better levels of return on that initial investment.

So ask yourself these questions.

  1. Am I making consistent, regular, on-going deposits into my relationship?
  2. Did I make more efforts early on, only to ignore my relationship more as time went on?
  3. What’s the balance in my relationship? Am I taking more than I am giving?
  4. Am I putting in the effort needed for my relationship to work better on my behalf and my partner’s behalf?

I suggest you ask yourself these questions every month. Maybe make it a ritual that goes along with paying your monthly bills. Because understanding your relationship’s balance is just as important as knowing how much money you have in your checking account.

If you or someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

As always, I’m here to support you in creating strong and intimate relationships.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Monday
Jul282014

Focus on What's Right!

It's so easy to notice what's wrong, missing or hurtful. And while we do register what's right on an unconscious level, we so often miss out on the opportunity to really take in all the positives. This applies to our relationships. We probably let our partners know what they've done wrong, what they are not doing at all, or what they've done that has hurt us more than we let our partners know what they are doing right.

So here is this week's challenge. Focus on what's right. Take in all the wonderful aspects of who your partner is and what he or she does for you that feels good. Even when you experience something wrong, missing or hurtful, take a moment to let it go for now and return your focus onto what they have and continue to do right.

Your reward for doing so? You will watch your relationship blossom before your very eyes. You will feel more love and appreciation for your loved ones. You will experience more support and love from them. And you will discover that your partner is the perfect match for you!

So take on the challenge and let me know how it goes!

If you are someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

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Wednesday
Jun252014

What Kind of Relationship Do You Want to Create?

Think about what kind of relationship you want to create. Then do the following: 

If you want a relationship based on trust, be trustworthy.

If you want a relationship based on intimacy, be vulnerable.

If you want a relationship based on honesty, be honest.

If you want a relationship based on friendship, be a good friend.

If you want a relationship based on playfulness, be playful. 

And so on and so on.

Be the kind of relationship you want. If your partner is up to the journey, travel safely together. If your partner is up to a slightly different journey, meet him where the two roads intercept. And if you and your partner want two very different types of relationships, say goodbye with love and continue on your way.

If you travel the journey that reflects the kind relationship you desire, you will inevitably meet someone like yourself somewhere along the road.

Keep the Faith and Just Keep Walk’in.

If you or someone you know wants to create a strong and intimate relationship, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

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Friday
May302014

How Long Does It Take to Know Your Mate?

As you settle into your relationship you begin to understand that your mate is not exactly the person you thought she was when you first started dating. You now understand that your mate is a complex person with many facets and moods. You start to learn that he doesn't like being rubbed under his chin; she is sensitive when it comes to being criticized for being messy (even if it's done in a teasing way); he is hard to read sometimes and just because he's quiet doesn't mean he isn't having some kind of reaction; she hates mustard; he loves to swim underwater; she won't cry in public; he cries at sad movies; and so on, and so on.

As your relationship grows and you begin to feel like you really do know your mate, one day he inadventantly shares a story about a past girlfriend you didn't know existed. You take a step back. "How could I have not known this about him? Why didn't he share that with me?"

Or one day when you're on vacation, your girlfriend says "Let's play tennis." You look at her in bewilderment as you never knew she played tennis and as turns out, she's pretty darn good. "After ten years together, how could I not know that my wife knows how to play tennis?"

These types of situations happen again and again in the world of relationships. So while these incidences may surprise you, they don't surprise me. It's quite common and normal. As a therapist and coach, I hear it all the time.
 
So how long does it take to fully know your mate? The answer is--a lifetime. Learning your mate never ends. The more you settle into your relationship, the more you realize that it will take a lifetime to truly know the person you love, the person you depend on the most, the person with whom you share your life.

Why, you ask? Well these are just some of the many reasons why you will never fully know the person you love.

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