What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in marriage (8)

Thursday
Mar312016

Let’s Talk About Sex

Sexual intimacy is an important aspect of a romantic committed relationship. And yes, for the most of us, the intensity and lust in a long-term relationship fluctuates over time. That doesn’t mean in only has a downward spiral—it means that how a couple experiences and creates their sexual intimacy will shift in all directions throughout the lifetime of the relationship. This is based on a number of factors including

  •          Familiarity
  •          Trust
  •          Boredom in the bedroom
  •          Health status
  •          Stress level
  •          Children – newborns, teenagers, empty nestees
  •          Age
  •          Relationship issues, including levels of conflict and connection
  •          Hormone levels and sex drive
  •          Prioritizing sexual connection and intimacy
  •          Work demands and work fulfillment
  •          Fatigue
  •          Fitness
  •          Sexual experimentation
  •          Comfort with one’s body and sexuality
  •          Openness in communicating needs and desires
  •          Desire to please one’s partner
  •          Making sex playful and fun
  •          Major life events and changes

As you can see from the list above, human sexuality and sexual intimacy in relationships is quite complex. Couples need to attend to their sexual relationship with the same intentionality that they do in other areas (e.g., finances, raising children, resolving issues, life changes, extended family, etc.).

Here are some things to consider if you feel your sex life and sexual intimacy is not where you’d like it be.

  1. Communicate – keep the lines of communication open in regards to how you are feeling about your sex life and what, if anything, would you like to be different. Your partner can’t work on pleasing you if he/she does not know how you are feeling and what would make things better.

  2. Accept – there may be differences between your and your partner’s needs when it comes to sex. There is no right or wrong in how often you have sex or how you like it. It is important to respect and accept your differences without making anyone wrong. Find a way to navigate the differences so each partner can get some, if not all of their needs met. Stretch your comfort zone, accommodate your partner’s needs, and find ways to make sex safe, playful and meaningful for both of you.

  3. Connect – it is important to maintain intimacy and connection regardless of how that is accomplished. Sex is only one way to create connection. If someone is dealing with a lot of stress or an illness or you just had your first baby, give yourselves a break and take the pressure off the bedroom. Holding hands, cuddling and listening to each other may be the best way to connect for the time being. 

  4. Be patient and know the pendulum will swing back again. If you are both committed to creating and re-creating your passion for one another, be assured that the passion is not lost. If you’d like a more active sex life, then see how you can create some energy around this. Take the initiative. Be proactive and look for opportunities to reignite the spark.

  5. Take the opportunity to see what changes need to made in yourself, your relationship and your life. A lack of sex drive or interest may be a signal that something needs to change. You may need to address your life style, work load, communication, health or relationship. And don’t forget to get some help if you’re stuck. There’s no reason to go at this alone. In fact, getting outside help from a qualified professional may be the solution you need.

If you or someone you know is unsatisfied with their sexual intimate relationship, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

Be well,

Julie

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Saturday
Feb272016

Quotes for the Week--Make Your Relationship Count!

"Someone once told me a story about long term relationships. To think of them as a continent to explore. I could spend a lifetime backpacking through Africa, and I would still never know all there is to know about that continent. To stay the course, to stay intentional, to stay curious and connected - that's the heart of it. But it's so easy to lose track of the trail, to get tired, to want to give up, or to want a new adventure. It can be so easy to lose sight of the goodness and mystery within the person sitting right in front of you."

--Joy Williams

Take this week and enjoy the journey of exploring your partner in new ways. You just might be surprised to find new delights.  Enjoy!

Be well,

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know want to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life,  please don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Jul052015

Navigating the Dualities in Relationships

Relationships are full of yin and yang’s.  You want closeness and you need separateness. You need to retain a sense of self and you need to create a sense of we. You need to attend to your partner’s needs and you need to ensure your needs get met.  I could go on and on but you get the picture. There are always tensions between two wants and needs in relationships.

The trick is navigating the tension and making choices over which need requires your attention or deference at that moment in time. Rarely will you achieve the perfect balance. More often than not you will traverse back and forth between the polarities as the situation dictates. This is the work of relationships. This is the nature of life. 

As we all struggle with dualities, here are a few tips to use when having to choose. 

  1. Take a step back and determine who or what has the greater need. If you need a day to rest and your partner really wants to go to her office party, see if you can objectively determine whose need is greater. Go with the greater need even if this requires a sacrifice.
  2. Take the long-term perspective as well as the immediate gratification. When you do, it usually becomes clear what needs your attention and what choices to make.
  3. If you have to make a choice between your individual needs or the relationship’s needs, choose the relationship.
  4. Be willing to sit with the tension for a while. Often we don’t know immediately what path to take. Sitting with things for a time often leads to more clarity. It’s okay to be confused and not know. In reality, sometimes that’s the best place to be—clarity comes with time and patience.
  5. Remember, while you can strive to meet everyone’s needs and keep everything in balance, rarely is this possible. Be willing to accept that a win for one side comes with a loss on the other. This is perfectly okay. The pendulum will swing back and forth throughout your lifetime.

We are continuously dealing with dualities. There will always be competing needs within your relationships. Be thoughtful, take your time and make the best decisions you can. That’s all you can ask for.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their relationships, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Saturday
Mar212015

Do You Want a Transactional or Transformational Relationship?

As your relationship grows over time, you and your partner will need to decide what kind of relationship you want—transactional or transformational. A transactional relationship is based on two people negotiating on getting their needs met. It often looks like


I’ll be more considerate of your need for space if you promise to take me out dancing at least once a week.

If you stop criticizing me on how I parent the kids, I will be more motivated to step in and help.

I’ll take care of the laundry this weekend so you can enjoy a day with your friends.

Most relationships function in this way. There is nothing wrong with transactional relationships—all relationships must address negotiating individual differences and needs as well as taking care of the day to day tasks associated with being part of a family.

So what about a transformational relationship? What does that entail? A transformational relationship goes beyond negotiating the needs of individuals that reside within the relationship. A transformational relationship looks like

  • Relating to your relationship as a living, breathing life force in and of itself
  • Creating a shared purpose and meaning for the relationship (that is, a vision)
  • Supporting the vision by acting and making choices accordingly
  • Understanding that the well-being of the relationship is equally if not more important than the well-being of any one individual within
  • Finding ways that further and deepen the purpose and meaning of the relationship
  • Taking the time to revisit and redefine the relationship’s purpose and meaning as the needs of the relationship change and evolve over time

Creating a transformational relationship is easier said than done. It requires putting the needs of the relationship first, before the needs of any one individual. You and your partner take the time to explore what the relationship needs to flourish and respond accordingly. You proactively decide as a couple what kind of relationship you want to create. Transformational relationships often result in less conflict and more intimacy, freedom of self-expression, fulfillment and sense of purpose.

If you’d like more information on the four phases of a developing relationship, including phase four: relational transformation, go to www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love.

It takes time and effort to get there but the rewards are worth it. If you or someone you know is interested in learning how to create a transformational relationship, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Monday
Aug252014

A Good Relationship is...

A good relationship is not a destination, a good relationship is a process. When you understand how relationships develop over time and what issues to address and how to address them effectively, you become proficient in the process of relationship building. Once you master the process of relationships, you are able to create relationships that result in healing, growth and transformation. This is where the magic lies. This is what The Pathway to Love is all about.

If you have not checked out The Pathway to Love program, I strongly encourage you to do so today. My life's work is about creating a process, a pathway that allows you to work through any issues that arise in your relationship so that you and your partner become more connected, not less. The program includes:

The Pathway to Love book will teach you about all the challenges and opportunities in the four phases of a developing relationship, helping you identify which phase you’re in right now, and illustrating how couples evolve their relationships to greater levels of intimacy. 

The Pathway to Love Workbook will take you, step by step, through a series of questions and reflections that you can do on your own or with your loved one that will move you from your “stuck” state of conflict to resolution and understanding. You’ll have an opportunity to deeply explore your true fears and desires and to learn things about your partner you’ve never known before. You’ll feel your love and trust build with every exercise and question.

The Pathway to Love Audio Guide is a candid recording of real sessions with real clients as they work with me to move through their specific struggles. You’ll hear me advise a woman who is distraught over a boyfriend who stops returning calls, help a wife and mother decide whether to stay married after her husband had an affair, and offer guidance to a couple who can’t seem to agree on how much closeness and affection is enough. By listening to these real sessions, you’ll see The Pathway to Love program “in action” and be able to apply the core lessons to your own situation.

The Pathway to Love program will also enable you to:

  • Go from struggle, fighting and disappointment to feeling deeper love, deeper trust, and more security in your relationship
  • Explore the truth about yourself and your partner so you can fully accept yourself and your partner and stop feeling “triggered”
  • Redefine, reignite, and breathe new life into your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together or how much distance you’re feeling now
  • Create the right conditions from which you and your partner can heal, grow, and transform

To read more and order your copy today, please visit www.julieorlov.com/tptl 

You deserve to have a relationship based on mutual respect, love and intimacy. So do something for yourself and the people you love. Create intimacy and transform your relationships through self-discovery and discovery of others. You won't regret it.

Be well,

Julie

P.S. If you are someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

Click to read more ...