What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in marital therapy (6)

Sunday
Nov022014

How Is Your Relationship Like Your Checking Account?

As it was the first of the month, I spent part of the day taking care of my bills. As I entered all my deposits and withdrawals from my checking account into my online registry, I realized what a wonderful analogy this is for our relationships. So what does a checking account have to do with your relationships? 

If you only take withdrawals and never make any deposits, your account balance will eventually go to zero. If you continue to spend irresponsibly, your account will eventually be closed and the bank will charge you for insufficient funds. It’s a lose-lose operation.

The same goes for relationships. If you only take without giving, your relationship will become non-sustainable as well. A healthy relationship requires regular on-going deposits—deposits of love, good will, nurturing, support, favors, and just taking care of business. Without these, the deficit will lead to dissatisfaction and resignation. The relationship will not survive.

If you put some money into your checking account and never do anything with it, you may not suffer any immediate loss but you will not earn any return on your initial investment either. In today’s economy, money must be put to work so that it can work for you. It’s a two-way street.

The same goes for relationships. If you put a lot of effort in during its’ formation but then assume that’s all you need to do, the relationship will not bring much return on your investment. When you understand what it takes to make the relationship work over time, the relationship will bring you better levels of return on that initial investment.

So ask yourself these questions.

  1. Am I making consistent, regular, on-going deposits into my relationship?
  2. Did I make more efforts early on, only to ignore my relationship more as time went on?
  3. What’s the balance in my relationship? Am I taking more than I am giving?
  4. Am I putting in the effort needed for my relationship to work better on my behalf and my partner’s behalf?

I suggest you ask yourself these questions every month. Maybe make it a ritual that goes along with paying your monthly bills. Because understanding your relationship’s balance is just as important as knowing how much money you have in your checking account.

If you or someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

As always, I’m here to support you in creating strong and intimate relationships.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Monday
Aug252014

A Good Relationship is...

A good relationship is not a destination, a good relationship is a process. When you understand how relationships develop over time and what issues to address and how to address them effectively, you become proficient in the process of relationship building. Once you master the process of relationships, you are able to create relationships that result in healing, growth and transformation. This is where the magic lies. This is what The Pathway to Love is all about.

If you have not checked out The Pathway to Love program, I strongly encourage you to do so today. My life's work is about creating a process, a pathway that allows you to work through any issues that arise in your relationship so that you and your partner become more connected, not less. The program includes:

The Pathway to Love book will teach you about all the challenges and opportunities in the four phases of a developing relationship, helping you identify which phase you’re in right now, and illustrating how couples evolve their relationships to greater levels of intimacy. 

The Pathway to Love Workbook will take you, step by step, through a series of questions and reflections that you can do on your own or with your loved one that will move you from your “stuck” state of conflict to resolution and understanding. You’ll have an opportunity to deeply explore your true fears and desires and to learn things about your partner you’ve never known before. You’ll feel your love and trust build with every exercise and question.

The Pathway to Love Audio Guide is a candid recording of real sessions with real clients as they work with me to move through their specific struggles. You’ll hear me advise a woman who is distraught over a boyfriend who stops returning calls, help a wife and mother decide whether to stay married after her husband had an affair, and offer guidance to a couple who can’t seem to agree on how much closeness and affection is enough. By listening to these real sessions, you’ll see The Pathway to Love program “in action” and be able to apply the core lessons to your own situation.

The Pathway to Love program will also enable you to:

  • Go from struggle, fighting and disappointment to feeling deeper love, deeper trust, and more security in your relationship
  • Explore the truth about yourself and your partner so you can fully accept yourself and your partner and stop feeling “triggered”
  • Redefine, reignite, and breathe new life into your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together or how much distance you’re feeling now
  • Create the right conditions from which you and your partner can heal, grow, and transform

To read more and order your copy today, please visit www.julieorlov.com/tptl 

You deserve to have a relationship based on mutual respect, love and intimacy. So do something for yourself and the people you love. Create intimacy and transform your relationships through self-discovery and discovery of others. You won't regret it.

Be well,

Julie

P.S. If you are someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

Click to read more ...

Monday
Jul282014

Focus on What's Right!

It's so easy to notice what's wrong, missing or hurtful. And while we do register what's right on an unconscious level, we so often miss out on the opportunity to really take in all the positives. This applies to our relationships. We probably let our partners know what they've done wrong, what they are not doing at all, or what they've done that has hurt us more than we let our partners know what they are doing right.

So here is this week's challenge. Focus on what's right. Take in all the wonderful aspects of who your partner is and what he or she does for you that feels good. Even when you experience something wrong, missing or hurtful, take a moment to let it go for now and return your focus onto what they have and continue to do right.

Your reward for doing so? You will watch your relationship blossom before your very eyes. You will feel more love and appreciation for your loved ones. You will experience more support and love from them. And you will discover that your partner is the perfect match for you!

So take on the challenge and let me know how it goes!

If you are someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

Click to read more ...

Friday
May302014

How Long Does It Take to Know Your Mate?

As you settle into your relationship you begin to understand that your mate is not exactly the person you thought she was when you first started dating. You now understand that your mate is a complex person with many facets and moods. You start to learn that he doesn't like being rubbed under his chin; she is sensitive when it comes to being criticized for being messy (even if it's done in a teasing way); he is hard to read sometimes and just because he's quiet doesn't mean he isn't having some kind of reaction; she hates mustard; he loves to swim underwater; she won't cry in public; he cries at sad movies; and so on, and so on.

As your relationship grows and you begin to feel like you really do know your mate, one day he inadventantly shares a story about a past girlfriend you didn't know existed. You take a step back. "How could I have not known this about him? Why didn't he share that with me?"

Or one day when you're on vacation, your girlfriend says "Let's play tennis." You look at her in bewilderment as you never knew she played tennis and as turns out, she's pretty darn good. "After ten years together, how could I not know that my wife knows how to play tennis?"

These types of situations happen again and again in the world of relationships. So while these incidences may surprise you, they don't surprise me. It's quite common and normal. As a therapist and coach, I hear it all the time.
 
So how long does it take to fully know your mate? The answer is--a lifetime. Learning your mate never ends. The more you settle into your relationship, the more you realize that it will take a lifetime to truly know the person you love, the person you depend on the most, the person with whom you share your life.

Why, you ask? Well these are just some of the many reasons why you will never fully know the person you love.

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Sunday
Feb162014

Growth Does Not Come Without Risk 

Do you want your relationship to deepen? Do you want to feel like you can be totally yourself, be fully self-expressed and live your life from a place of true power? If the answer is yes, then be prepared to be uncomfortable. Growth and deep connection comes out of taking risks. It can be risky to...

Share your deepest fantasies

Reveal your dark or shadow sides of yourself

Ask for what you really want

Say no to what you really don't want

Go after something that feels ambitious and out of reach

Go after that something in partnership with your significant other

Forgive and allow yourself to be vulnerable, even after you've been deeply hurt

Be willing to face and take responsibility for your mistakes, even those that have deeply hurt others

Face your worst fears and move forward courageously anyways

Give your heart fully to another person, allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable and open

Unfortunately, there is no way to grow and stretch without feeling some growing pains.  So if you are willing to venture into the unknown, here are some things you can do to move you and your relationship forward.

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