What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in love and intimacy (12)

Sunday
Feb162014

Growth Does Not Come Without Risk 

Do you want your relationship to deepen? Do you want to feel like you can be totally yourself, be fully self-expressed and live your life from a place of true power? If the answer is yes, then be prepared to be uncomfortable. Growth and deep connection comes out of taking risks. It can be risky to...

Share your deepest fantasies

Reveal your dark or shadow sides of yourself

Ask for what you really want

Say no to what you really don't want

Go after something that feels ambitious and out of reach

Go after that something in partnership with your significant other

Forgive and allow yourself to be vulnerable, even after you've been deeply hurt

Be willing to face and take responsibility for your mistakes, even those that have deeply hurt others

Face your worst fears and move forward courageously anyways

Give your heart fully to another person, allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable and open

Unfortunately, there is no way to grow and stretch without feeling some growing pains.  So if you are willing to venture into the unknown, here are some things you can do to move you and your relationship forward.

Click Read in Browser to access full article

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Sunday
Jan052014

7 Things You Can Do To Start The Year Out Right

Now that the New Year is officially underway, I'd like to offer some suggestions on how you can make a fresh start with your loved ones. No matter what has transpired in the past year—good , bad and indifferent—2014 offers you the opportunity to create new ways of relating that promises to bring you closer. Here's a list of 7 things you can start doing today. 

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Sunday
Oct272013

Love and Relationship Q&A w'Julie Orlov "Why is it so difficult to forgive?"

Today's question deals with how difficult it can be to forgive someone who has hurt or disappointed you. This video Q&A talks about the power of forgiveness, how to move from anger and defensiveness toward forgiveness and why it will set you free!

Click “Read in Browser” to access the video. And for those of you that rather read than watch, enjoy my article on the topic entitled “The Art of Forgiveness.”

The Art of Forgiveness

When someone or something has done you wrong, it is easy to get lost in feeling hurt, disappointed, angry, and betrayed. It is easy to feel foolish, stupid and just plain resistant to the notion of “forgive and forget.” We erroneously believe that when we hold on to our feelings and beliefs about what was done to us, we hold on to our power. Furthermore, we believe that if our "perpetrator" is punished or pays enough restitution, we will find our way to feeling satisfied that justice has been served.

Ironically, neither is true. Revenge can be a bottomless pit. And holding on to anger and hurt simply drains you from your power rather than restoring it.

The only way out is through forgiveness. When we forgive, we take back our power. We find peace of mind. We use our energy in ways that serve us and leave the person that hurt us with the space to deal with his actions and her issues, as opposed to you and your emotional reaction. In other words, forgiveness restores power and responsibility where it belongs, respectively. 

So the next time you are faced with finding your way toward forgiveness, here are some thoughts to consider...

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Sunday
Sep292013

What Does a Good Relationship Feel Like?

A good relationship is like a good bottle of wine. It gets better with time. There is no substitute for time. Relationships develop; they just don't magically spontaneously emerge. It takes consistent effort and attention to grow a relationship. If you put the effort in, the pay-off is yours for the keeping.

During phase one*, relationships feel good, scary, uncertain, idealized, dreamy—a roller-coaster ride.

During phase two*, relationships feel settled in, yet rocky. This is the time when struggles, disappointments, and conflicts are at their peak. This is when you begin to build your relationship muscle. This is the time when you wonder why you're here and how long you want to stay. This is the time you fear your significant other will leave or betray you in some way. This is a different kind of ride—one that feels more settled and solid but with more unease, unrest and doubt.

If you do the work of phase one and two, you begin to reap what you've sown.  You move into phase three*. This is when a relationship feels GOOD all the time and GREAT most of the time.

If you've never had this kind of relationship or if you've never been around a couple that has this kind of relationship, this may feel foreign to you. If you want this kind of relationship, then it will help if you can imagine what it feels like to be in a good relationship. This way, you'll recognize it when it comes your way, accept nothing less, and begin to understand what it takes to get there.

To help you with this, I've written a short visualization for you. Record it if you like, or simply imagine what it feels like to be there. Picture yourself in this kind of relationship and it just might come true for you!

Click Read in Browser to access the visualization and full article.

*Phase one, two and three are part of The Pathway to Love, a developmental approach to understanding and growing relationships in powerful and healthy ways. For more information on The Pathway to Love books and programs, visit www.JulieOrlov.com/24-hour-relationship-help 

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Saturday
Jul272013

The Truth about Relationships

Relationships take work. No one likes the word "work" let alone doing it. People prefer to do things and have things that require less effort and more ease. It's just human nature. If one has the choice to climb up a hill or down a hill, most would choose the downhill route. However, hills that only go one way down do not exist. Relationships work the same. You can't expect a relationship to be good and easy without having the experience of the uphill route from time to time. This is especially true as you traverse the second phase of relationship building. Phase two* is that challenging space  between the time when things are magically (and temporarily) easy and where real deep love and intimacy reside.

We humans do what we can to avoid the uphill struggle. We avoid, sabotage, deny, and flee. In the end, we lose—because to avoid the uphill climb, we also miss out on the joy and satisfaction of having come down the other side. We are tempted to cut the journey short and stay stuck in a small and often lonely place.

Unfortunately, some people take advantage of our vulnerabilities. They will try to sell you the idea that relationships can and should be easy—and of course, they have just the thing that you can purchase to get you there in 10 easy steps or less. We all know deep down that this is nonsense. Relationships require the same kind of rigor, commitment, discipline and attention that building anything worthwhile requires over time. You can't get to phase three or four* in a relationship without doing the work of phase two. You simply can't skip phases. Every time we try to create shortcuts in life we create a mess instead.

So as much as I'd like to promise you a downhill journey, the truth is we all need to adopt or readopt a solid work ethic. Creating long lasting and satisfying relationships require a certain kind of discipline—one that understands it takes consistent effort over time—one that knows if this is done, then slowly, over the years, one can and will build a relationship that is strong and vibrant, one that will last and flourish, one that honors and protects.

This topic is so important. There is much more to read! Click Read in Browser to finish the article!

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