What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential


More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in hurt feelings (2)


Healing Only Takes Place within The Space of Love

Everyone has wounds. We accumulate our wounds throughout our lifetime when we experience emotional and psychological injury. Just as you cannot prevent scrapping a knee or breaking a bone, nor can you prevent emotional hurt, pain and trauma. We work hard to protect our wounds from further pain and heal them as best we can. Sometimes we’re successful and sometimes we’re not.

Our wounds get triggered and we protect them in many varying ways. We protect our wounds by

  • Numbing the pain with alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, gambling and sex
  • Attacking others when we feel they might expose our wounds and cause more pain
  • Avoiding situations that may pour salt into our wounds
  • Distracting ourselves from dealing with our wounds via all kinds of self-protective strategies

We respond to others’ wounds in varying ways as well. Some of these include

  • Taking advantage of their vulnerability and using them as a means of control
  • Becoming angry over the impact that their wounds have on them and us
  • Attempting to kiss their “boo-boo” and make it all better
  • Discovering our own wounds through their wounds and competing over which wound is worse and deserves the most attention
  • Finding a way to avoid and abandon those who reveal their wounds because it causes too much chaos 

While we try to contend with our wounds in many different ways, one truth exists.

Wounds only heal within a space of love…

Not intimidation, confrontation, anger or fear…

Only with love can our wounds heal.

So here are some ways to create healing in the world around you

  • Listen to others’ woundedness in the spirit of understanding and acceptance
  • Validate their experiences and provide reassurance whenever possible
  • Have an open heart and show compassion
  • Let others know that you love them unconditionally
  • Express your hopes and desires for them
  • Set boundaries in the spirit of relationship
  • Send them your thoughts and prayers for healing and peace

Wishing all of you healing and peace,


P.S. If you or someone you know would like to heal their wounds, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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What Does It Mean to Take Full Responsibility for Your Feelings?

I often talk about how important it is to take full responsibility for your feelings as you create a solid foundation with another person. But what does this really mean? Does this mean that no one is ever responsible for saying or doing something that hurts your feelings? Well, the answer to that question is yes and no. Let me explain what I mean by setting up a scenario from which you can insert your own experience. Let’s say your romantic partner says something that hurts your feelings. Maybe she criticized the way you handle yourself professionally. Maybe he lied about what he was doing last night. Regardless of the words or deeds, you felt attacked, betrayed, belittled, or dismissed.

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