What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in healthy relationships (14)

Sunday
Jun022013

Is the Grass Always Greener on the Other Side?

“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” – Sound familiar? It should. This well-known phrase captures what every person in or out of a relationship thinks from time to time. If you’re currently single, you may be thinking about how much you miss having a partner—someone with whom you can share love, laughter, and life experiences. You long for someone to hold and be with—a relationship that fills those basic human needs and alleviates your moments of loneliness and emptiness.

If you’re in a committed relationship, you just may be thinking about days gone by when you did not have to answer to anyone—when you could sleep, eat, play and shop—when, where and how you pleased. You long for some alone time and the feeling of independence. You miss your freedom.

I want you to know that “missing” the other side is not only normal, but expected. There are benefits and costs to being single and coupled. There will always be a longing, an appreciation and a loss, regardless of your relationship status. It is not a matter of if you feel these things, it is how you move through these times of discontent. No one package is perfect. So here are some realties and coping strategies to help you deal with your moments of doubt. 

If you are transitioning from singlehood to couplehood, or couplehood to singlehood, here is what you have in store and how you can cope. Be prepared to deal with the following:

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Sunday
Apr072013

Do You Create Security or Doubt in Your Significant Relationship? 

When you are moving from a dating relationship to a committed monogamous relationship, you become more vulnerable. There is now more at stake. Your investment in the relationship has risen and your attachment to your significant other has solidified. This is all good. How you handle this transition can make a difference in how solid or shaky the next stage of your relationship feels. And remember, even if you’ve been with someone for a very long time, this information still applies to you. People tend to deal with vulnerability in one of two ways. The first is finding ways to feel less vulnerable—to transfer the risk of loss and sense of powerlessness to your significant other while creating an illusion of having power and control over the relationship. Some examples of this may be... (Click Read in Browser to read full article)

BIG NEWS! My radio/internet TV show “Pathways to Love” on LATalkLive will be moving to a new day and time. Starting April 14th you can catch us LIVE every Sunday at 1:30pm PST at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love. As always, call in with your questions and comments at 323-473-3100! (Until then, you can still watch us live on Fridays, 2:30pm PST and always catch the archived recorded shows at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love)

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Sunday
Mar102013

The Number 1 Thing that will get you through the Bumps in the Road  

As you settle into a long-term relationship, you settle into its particular rhythm. Every relationship has one and every rhythm is unique to that relationship. Sometimes you will affect your relationship; sometimes life will impact its ebb and flow. Either way, you can be sure that your path will not be a smooth ride without any bumps or detours. Yours may look something like this— Everything has been going just fine for some time until one day you discover that your significant other has kept something from you...

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Sunday
Nov112012

Settling In and Peeling Away at the Onion

As you settle into couplehood, a dynamic begins to occur as you define who you are as a couple and get to know who you are as individuals. The need for space and autonomy set in—you want to re-establish your individuality and power that was temporarily lost in the excitement of phase one. On the other hand, the need for security and trust increases as you become aware of your deep attachment to your significant other. A dance begins that vacillates between seeking each other and seeking yourself—holding on your connection with each other while maintaining a sense of power and control. How this dance occurs depends on the two individuals involved. So what does an onion have to do with this? As you begin to experience each other in more intimate and revealing ways, you begin to peel away at the layers—you reveal your respective deepest wounds and insecurities, you feel the impact of each other’s defense mechanisms, and you see each other’s true character in motion. This is the core of phase two. This is where the real work begins. This is when you make choices that will determine the outcome of the relationship, or at the very least, its trajectory. Let me share an example.

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Sunday
Sep022012

Ten Commandments on Relationships

I believe we’ve lost touch on the value of our relationships. People seem to spend more time and money on their hair, toys, and possessions than they do on their relationships. I’m not sure when we crossed over into the land of disconnect but it saddens me that we’ve become a society obsessed with instant gratification, magical solutions, constant stimulation, ten second attention spans, and never ending to-do lists. Our need to get more, do more, and have more, has outweighed our basic human need for connection, centeredness, and cooperation. We have lost touch with the value of connection and the art of relationship building and the time has come to wake up and get our lives back in balance. My work has been dedicated to helping others learn how to create authentic and intimate relationships. It is through our relationships that we heal, transform, and thrive. In fact, it is only within the context of our relationships that we are able to exist. My request is that you take the time to examine your relationships this week. Put time and energy toward the people you relate to on a daily or weekly basis. Be willing to invest yourself and your resources into nurturing your relationships. To assist you with this quest, I have put together Ten Commandments on Relationships. No, I didn’t get them from atop a mountain or from a burning bush. They are part of The Pathway to Love Model and they provide a context from which to begin a paradigm shift. It’s my attempt to swing the pendulum back to a position where we can heal as a community. So here it goes…

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