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“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in healthy relationships (14)

Sunday
Aug092015

Just Say No!

Saying no to what you don’t want opens the door to what you do.

We spend a lot of time and energy trying to get what we want—the right romantic partner, the right job, the right work-life balance. People will utilize all kinds of things to bring in their desired reality. God knows people will sell you just about anything in pursuit of your aspirations. You may have tried visualizing your wants, creating a vision board, making positive affirmations, hiring a coach, or creating a strategic plan. These are not bad things to do and in fact, when you put your attention on what you want, you are certainly more likely to get it.

However, there is more to creating something new and different. You not only need to say yes to what you want, you need to say no to what you don’t. In fact, I’d go as far to say that saying no is a crucial first step to recognizing and embracing something new.

So if you’re tired of

  • Dating people who aren’t good for you
  • Settling for crumbs instead of what you truly deserve
  • Tolerating mistreatment or abuse
  • Getting taken advantage of for your giving and compassionate nature
  • Or anything else that is not working in your life…

Then start saying no.

No to what doesn’t work for you—no to those people and circumstances you will no longer tolerate and accept.

When you make a stand to stay away from those things and people that do not work for you, you take a clear stand for those that do.

Just say no.

And feel good about your commitment to your life!

Be well,

Julie

P.S. If you would like more information on how to navigate through the four phases of a developing relationship, visit. www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love.  If you’d like more information on how to create the life you choose and work with me personally, please contact me directly at julie@julieorlov.com or call 310-379-5855310-379-5855 to schedule a session.

Get the support you deserve. Get the help your relationship wants.

As always, I'm here to support you in creating strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life!

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Monday
Jul282014

Focus on What's Right!

It's so easy to notice what's wrong, missing or hurtful. And while we do register what's right on an unconscious level, we so often miss out on the opportunity to really take in all the positives. This applies to our relationships. We probably let our partners know what they've done wrong, what they are not doing at all, or what they've done that has hurt us more than we let our partners know what they are doing right.

So here is this week's challenge. Focus on what's right. Take in all the wonderful aspects of who your partner is and what he or she does for you that feels good. Even when you experience something wrong, missing or hurtful, take a moment to let it go for now and return your focus onto what they have and continue to do right.

Your reward for doing so? You will watch your relationship blossom before your very eyes. You will feel more love and appreciation for your loved ones. You will experience more support and love from them. And you will discover that your partner is the perfect match for you!

So take on the challenge and let me know how it goes!

If you are someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

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Sunday
Sep292013

What Does a Good Relationship Feel Like?

A good relationship is like a good bottle of wine. It gets better with time. There is no substitute for time. Relationships develop; they just don't magically spontaneously emerge. It takes consistent effort and attention to grow a relationship. If you put the effort in, the pay-off is yours for the keeping.

During phase one*, relationships feel good, scary, uncertain, idealized, dreamy—a roller-coaster ride.

During phase two*, relationships feel settled in, yet rocky. This is the time when struggles, disappointments, and conflicts are at their peak. This is when you begin to build your relationship muscle. This is the time when you wonder why you're here and how long you want to stay. This is the time you fear your significant other will leave or betray you in some way. This is a different kind of ride—one that feels more settled and solid but with more unease, unrest and doubt.

If you do the work of phase one and two, you begin to reap what you've sown.  You move into phase three*. This is when a relationship feels GOOD all the time and GREAT most of the time.

If you've never had this kind of relationship or if you've never been around a couple that has this kind of relationship, this may feel foreign to you. If you want this kind of relationship, then it will help if you can imagine what it feels like to be in a good relationship. This way, you'll recognize it when it comes your way, accept nothing less, and begin to understand what it takes to get there.

To help you with this, I've written a short visualization for you. Record it if you like, or simply imagine what it feels like to be there. Picture yourself in this kind of relationship and it just might come true for you!

Click Read in Browser to access the visualization and full article.

*Phase one, two and three are part of The Pathway to Love, a developmental approach to understanding and growing relationships in powerful and healthy ways. For more information on The Pathway to Love books and programs, visit www.JulieOrlov.com/24-hour-relationship-help 

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Saturday
Jul272013

The Truth about Relationships

Relationships take work. No one likes the word "work" let alone doing it. People prefer to do things and have things that require less effort and more ease. It's just human nature. If one has the choice to climb up a hill or down a hill, most would choose the downhill route. However, hills that only go one way down do not exist. Relationships work the same. You can't expect a relationship to be good and easy without having the experience of the uphill route from time to time. This is especially true as you traverse the second phase of relationship building. Phase two* is that challenging space  between the time when things are magically (and temporarily) easy and where real deep love and intimacy reside.

We humans do what we can to avoid the uphill struggle. We avoid, sabotage, deny, and flee. In the end, we lose—because to avoid the uphill climb, we also miss out on the joy and satisfaction of having come down the other side. We are tempted to cut the journey short and stay stuck in a small and often lonely place.

Unfortunately, some people take advantage of our vulnerabilities. They will try to sell you the idea that relationships can and should be easy—and of course, they have just the thing that you can purchase to get you there in 10 easy steps or less. We all know deep down that this is nonsense. Relationships require the same kind of rigor, commitment, discipline and attention that building anything worthwhile requires over time. You can't get to phase three or four* in a relationship without doing the work of phase two. You simply can't skip phases. Every time we try to create shortcuts in life we create a mess instead.

So as much as I'd like to promise you a downhill journey, the truth is we all need to adopt or readopt a solid work ethic. Creating long lasting and satisfying relationships require a certain kind of discipline—one that understands it takes consistent effort over time—one that knows if this is done, then slowly, over the years, one can and will build a relationship that is strong and vibrant, one that will last and flourish, one that honors and protects.

This topic is so important. There is much more to read! Click Read in Browser to finish the article!

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Saturday
Jun292013

Declare a New State of Independence for Yourself

As I rule, I try to resist the pressure to write articles with holiday themes. It just feels a bit cliché and there are so many of them running rampant out there in cyberspace. Sometimes I feel the spirit that lies within our holidays gets lost within the onslaught of messages.

However, today I awoke with a thought about our upcoming Independence Day holiday. For me, this holiday represents a day to enjoy friends and family, along with BBQ's and fireworks. And to be honest, I focus more on the Wimbledon Tennis matches and less on what it means for our country.  At this point in time, I feel the spirit from which our country was founded has become lost. We have less integrity, less freedom, and less authentic interactions with one another.  Greed, instant gratification, and “more is better” seem to have taken hold. I know many, if not most of you, adhere to different standards but these current values have been ingrained into our culture and our relationships, at a tremendous cost to us all.

With the intention of helping bring our old values back—or as some may suggest, new and improved values—I  am offering a new set of declarations for this coming Thursday, July Fourth.  In so doing, my hope is that we will remember on our national holiday what is truly important. So, among the masses of Happy Fourth of July wishes, I encourage you to declare a new state of independence in the following ways. 

I declare the freedom to

  1. Be who I am without apology or repression
  2. Be fully self-expressed
  3. Be free from fear of rejection or abandonment
  4. Be fully empowered to say yes or no without guilt or regret
  5. Love and treat others with a compassionate and open heart
  6. Take risks with courage and live a life of passion
  7. Take full responsibility for my actions, thoughts, and feelings
  8. Live my life with integrity and learn from my mistakes
  9. Do what I can to make someone else's day a bit better
  10. Laugh whenever possible, smile as much as possible, and find joy wherever possible.

Have a wonderful and safe Fourth of July celebration! 

If you or someone you know is struggling with creating strong and loving relationships, please don't hesitate to contact me. I am here to provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

As always, I’m here to support you in creating a transformational life and strong and powerful relationships

Be well,

Julie

P.S. And don't forget to catch my radio/TV show Pathways to Love w'Julie Orlov LIVE every Sunday 1:30pm PST on LATalkLive!

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

Click to read more ...