What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Blog Index
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Entries in couples (9)

Friday
May302014

How Long Does It Take to Know Your Mate?

As you settle into your relationship you begin to understand that your mate is not exactly the person you thought she was when you first started dating. You now understand that your mate is a complex person with many facets and moods. You start to learn that he doesn't like being rubbed under his chin; she is sensitive when it comes to being criticized for being messy (even if it's done in a teasing way); he is hard to read sometimes and just because he's quiet doesn't mean he isn't having some kind of reaction; she hates mustard; he loves to swim underwater; she won't cry in public; he cries at sad movies; and so on, and so on.

As your relationship grows and you begin to feel like you really do know your mate, one day he inadventantly shares a story about a past girlfriend you didn't know existed. You take a step back. "How could I have not known this about him? Why didn't he share that with me?"

Or one day when you're on vacation, your girlfriend says "Let's play tennis." You look at her in bewilderment as you never knew she played tennis and as turns out, she's pretty darn good. "After ten years together, how could I not know that my wife knows how to play tennis?"

These types of situations happen again and again in the world of relationships. So while these incidences may surprise you, they don't surprise me. It's quite common and normal. As a therapist and coach, I hear it all the time.
 
So how long does it take to fully know your mate? The answer is--a lifetime. Learning your mate never ends. The more you settle into your relationship, the more you realize that it will take a lifetime to truly know the person you love, the person you depend on the most, the person with whom you share your life.

Why, you ask? Well these are just some of the many reasons why you will never fully know the person you love.

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Sunday
Feb162014

Growth Does Not Come Without Risk 

Do you want your relationship to deepen? Do you want to feel like you can be totally yourself, be fully self-expressed and live your life from a place of true power? If the answer is yes, then be prepared to be uncomfortable. Growth and deep connection comes out of taking risks. It can be risky to...

Share your deepest fantasies

Reveal your dark or shadow sides of yourself

Ask for what you really want

Say no to what you really don't want

Go after something that feels ambitious and out of reach

Go after that something in partnership with your significant other

Forgive and allow yourself to be vulnerable, even after you've been deeply hurt

Be willing to face and take responsibility for your mistakes, even those that have deeply hurt others

Face your worst fears and move forward courageously anyways

Give your heart fully to another person, allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable and open

Unfortunately, there is no way to grow and stretch without feeling some growing pains.  So if you are willing to venture into the unknown, here are some things you can do to move you and your relationship forward.

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Sunday
Apr072013

Do You Create Security or Doubt in Your Significant Relationship? 

When you are moving from a dating relationship to a committed monogamous relationship, you become more vulnerable. There is now more at stake. Your investment in the relationship has risen and your attachment to your significant other has solidified. This is all good. How you handle this transition can make a difference in how solid or shaky the next stage of your relationship feels. And remember, even if you’ve been with someone for a very long time, this information still applies to you. People tend to deal with vulnerability in one of two ways. The first is finding ways to feel less vulnerable—to transfer the risk of loss and sense of powerlessness to your significant other while creating an illusion of having power and control over the relationship. Some examples of this may be... (Click Read in Browser to read full article)

BIG NEWS! My radio/internet TV show “Pathways to Love” on LATalkLive will be moving to a new day and time. Starting April 14th you can catch us LIVE every Sunday at 1:30pm PST at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love. As always, call in with your questions and comments at 323-473-3100! (Until then, you can still watch us live on Fridays, 2:30pm PST and always catch the archived recorded shows at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love)

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Sunday
Feb102013

5 Reasons to Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Heart!

I received an email the other day from a woman who read my article “7 Reasons to Acknowledge Anniversaries”—she requested an article in kind about Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day presents us with a double bind. On the one hand, we are bombarded with advertisements, talk show segments, and subtle (or not so subtle) messages on how important it is to do the right thing by your sweetheart. On the other hand, people push back on the commercial hype and pressure, holding Valentine’s Day responsible for the inevitable disappointment that ensues, claiming it is a “contrived Hallmark” holiday designed to put unrealistic expectations on love and relationships. These individuals tend to rebel, choosing to ignore the holiday all together or do the bare minimum of bringing home some flowers and calling it a day. And then of course, there are those out there who do not currently have a sweetheart, many of which hide out for the 24 hours until all the focus on lovers fades so that they can once again, feel good about being single. So how do we reconcile all these conflicting feelings about Valentine’s Day? After all, it is supposed to be the holiday of love, not dread. So in honor of those of you that still believe in a day that celebrates love, I’m offering 5 reasons to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. And for those of you that wish this holiday would simply go away and stay away, read on—you just might find a good reason to celebrate come February 14th! Don’t forget to join me for my LIVE Create Your Pathway to Love Workshop on February 23, 9am-1pm in Hermosa Beach, California. For more information and to register, go to www.yourpathwaytolove.eventbrite.com.

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