What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Blog Index
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Monday
Apr272015

Quote of the Week: Why do you annoy me?

"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."   Elizabeth Taylor

Let's face it. We all annoy others and others annoy us. So if you find a person you love annoying--or vice versa--it's just because you're both breathing. --Julie Orlov :-)

Have a great week everyone!

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know needs help in finding love and developing relationships, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Saturday
Mar212015

Do You Want a Transactional or Transformational Relationship?

As your relationship grows over time, you and your partner will need to decide what kind of relationship you want—transactional or transformational. A transactional relationship is based on two people negotiating on getting their needs met. It often looks like


I’ll be more considerate of your need for space if you promise to take me out dancing at least once a week.

If you stop criticizing me on how I parent the kids, I will be more motivated to step in and help.

I’ll take care of the laundry this weekend so you can enjoy a day with your friends.

Most relationships function in this way. There is nothing wrong with transactional relationships—all relationships must address negotiating individual differences and needs as well as taking care of the day to day tasks associated with being part of a family.

So what about a transformational relationship? What does that entail? A transformational relationship goes beyond negotiating the needs of individuals that reside within the relationship. A transformational relationship looks like

  • Relating to your relationship as a living, breathing life force in and of itself
  • Creating a shared purpose and meaning for the relationship (that is, a vision)
  • Supporting the vision by acting and making choices accordingly
  • Understanding that the well-being of the relationship is equally if not more important than the well-being of any one individual within
  • Finding ways that further and deepen the purpose and meaning of the relationship
  • Taking the time to revisit and redefine the relationship’s purpose and meaning as the needs of the relationship change and evolve over time

Creating a transformational relationship is easier said than done. It requires putting the needs of the relationship first, before the needs of any one individual. You and your partner take the time to explore what the relationship needs to flourish and respond accordingly. You proactively decide as a couple what kind of relationship you want to create. Transformational relationships often result in less conflict and more intimacy, freedom of self-expression, fulfillment and sense of purpose.

If you’d like more information on the four phases of a developing relationship, including phase four: relational transformation, go to www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love.

It takes time and effort to get there but the rewards are worth it. If you or someone you know is interested in learning how to create a transformational relationship, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Sunday
Feb152015

How was Your Valentine's Day?

I hope all of you had a wonderful Valentine's Day and are enjoying the long holiday weekend.

I know that some of you are feeling relieved that Valentine's Day is over. When you are not in a relationship and wish you were, this holiday can be a stressful reminder of your unwanted relationship status.

I also know that for others, you are feeling the let down and disappointment of another "romantic" holiday gone bad. Your partner either underestimated the importance of this day or under-appreciated your efforts. Either way, you are left feeling insecure about the future and wishing things were different.

The relationship is certainly too good to leave but lacks the passion and fulfillment you desire. You know that with some solid communication and renewed commitment, this relationship can take the next step forward. Somehow, when you try to engage in meaningful conversations about how to improve things, the conversation soon turns into one or both you feeling defensive. When this happens, no one really understands or appreciates what's important to the other. What you hoped would become the start of something better turns out to be the start of something worse.

You're not sure where things go wrong and feel helpless to engage in conversations that result in both you and your significant other feeling heard, understood and accepted. The goal of getting your needs met and finding a mutually satisfactory outcome eludes you. You've tried many different tacks but still hit the same old wall again and again.

If you relate to this scenario, you are not alone. Many couples find themselves stuck in a way of relating and communicating that doesn't get them the results they want. There is a way through. It takes a professional who can quickly understand the dynamics at play and knows how to guide you toward a different and more effective way of approaching relationship issues. I know a lot of people are hesitant to bring an outsider into their relationship for help. It can be scary to reach out. Most people fear that the relationship will get worse, not better. Others believe the therapist will side with their significant other and sabotage their needs.

The truth is neither. An experienced and well qualified relationship professional knows how to approach the issues in a way where everyone feels heard and supported. A good therapist knows how to guide the communication forward toward new insights, understandings and approaches to problem solving. While not all relationships are able to grow and thrive, most can and will.

Working on your relationship is not a quick fix. Shifting perspectives and creating positive change takes place over time. Relationships are complex. The gifted professional can discern where the greatest leverage is for the best outcome. Don't sell yourself short. Get the help you and your relationships deserve.

I've devoted my 28 years as a professional psychotherapist, coach and consultant helping people build strong and intimate relationships. I would love to make a difference in your life as well.

So whether you are dealing with a relationship crisis or would just like help with how you approach relationship building, here's my special gift to you. For the remainder of the month, I am offering a one hour session for only $150.00.  That's a $100.00 savings!  I think you will be pleasantly surprised with how your relationship can shift with just one session. I am able to quickly understand the issues at hand and work with you to shift what is and begin to build what you desire.

Take advantage of the savings and start to transform your life today. Simply email me at jorlov@julieorlov.com and write FEBRUARY SPECIAL on the subject line. Let me know what days and times work best for you and I will respond with available time slots. Don't let too much time go by. I only have so many time slots available for the remainder of the month and want you to get the benefits!

Wishing you well,

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know needs help in finding love, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Jan152015

When Do I Speak Up and When Do I Keep Quiet? 

People get excited when they meet someone new. We put on our best "face" and watch our p's and q's. We don't want to share too much too soon for fear of judgment and rejection. And in some respects, this is wise. The beginning of a relationship is devoted to having fun and getting to know someone slowly over time. I know for me that if I knew some things about my husband when we first went out that I know now, I might have sent him packing. But as we get to know someone in the fullness of who they are, we understand things that occurred in their lives within a greater context. Too much too soon can be a bad thing. TMI is sometimes very real.

On the other hand, we should never give our power away for fear of judgment and rejection. We hold back from speaking out early on in our relationships when it is not in our best interest. We hold back from sharing our truth even in well established relationships and lose ourselves because of it. We give our power away too often and too easily. There are circumstances from which we should never let fear of judgment, rejection or ridicule silence us. 

These include (Click Read in Browser to access this important information!)

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Sunday
Nov302014

Managing Your Expectations this Holiday Season

Thanksgiving is behind us and I hope all of you had a great holiday weekend.

Whether you spend this holiday with family, shopping or getting caught up with rest, I hope that you are not left with a lot of disappointment his Monday morning.  Some of you may be feeling the post-holiday blues—maybe your family gathering was filled with too much (or too little) drama; maybe the weekend was more stressful than you wanted, or may be what you thought would happen did not and you were feeling along and disappointed.

If you fall into any of these categories, don’t fret. You’re not alone. As a therapist, my busiest time of the year is the post-holiday season. Spending time with family or wishing you had more time with family, seems to trigger a lot.  Disappointments are at the top of the list. And all the disappointments can be traced back to expectations. So here’s some suggestions to help you manage your expectations as you continue to navigate the holiday season.

To read more about how to powerfully manage holiday expectations, click read in browser.

Before you do, I just want to remind you that my holiday gift to you is a 20% discount for purchasing The Pathway to Love program, designed to help you create strong and intimate relationships whether you currently have one or are currently looking for a new and wonderful love. Simply enter the special code Gratitude and order your copy today!

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