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“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Sunday
Mar162014

Curing the Annoyance Blues  

One of the benefits of settling into a relationship is you are able to be your true selves with each other and experience each other as such. The downfall to this is that those behaviors that once seemed cute, now annoy you.  Those traits that you thought didn't exist, now show up. And since you feel more secure and able to express yourselves honestly, you are both less likely to hold back your true feelings, including your annoyances. We all know what it's like to be annoyed with others and have others be annoyed with us. Some of you may suffer from this ailment only every now and then while others may suffer from this ailment almost daily.

So, how can we cure the annoyance blues? To help mitigate this inevitable state of dis-ease, I'm offering a few things to consider and do. 

  1. First, know that your annoyance has more to do with you and less to do with your significant other. You're probably feeling annoyed either because you're feeling tired, stressed, out of control, hurried, or uncared for. When we are not at our best, it is easy to become irritated. The cure?  Instead of wishing your significant other would stop doing or being something annoying, look within and see what personal needs require your attention. Self-care will do the trick.
  2. We all have traits that can be both strength and a weakness, depending on the situation. Your significant other is no exception (and by the way, neither are you). In other words, the thing that is annoying you in this moment is probably a trait or quality that comes in handy another time. The cure?  Get perspective and remember that you chose your partner because of this so-called annoying trait—and remember this trait will show up in a way that serves you well at another time, in another situation. Keep a big picture perspectives and your mood will shift. 
  3. No one is perfect and everyone has issues. I know it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that there must be someone out there that will never disappoint or annoy you–an exceptional person who has it all together, all the time. In truth, we all know this is simply untrue. A perfect person does not exist. Your significant other will have issues, defense mechanisms, idiosyncrasies and preferences that you find annoying from time to time. The cure? Get over it. Know that you and your significant other are not perfect—the hope is that you are perfect for each other.

So the next time you get the annoyance blues, find what cure works for you. You, your significant other and your relationship will be better from having done so.

If you or someone you know wants to create a strong and intimate relationship, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

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