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“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

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Sunday
Nov302014

Managing Your Expectations this Holiday Season

Thanksgiving is behind us and I hope all of you had a great holiday weekend.

Whether you spend this holiday with family, shopping or getting caught up with rest, I hope that you are not left with a lot of disappointment his Monday morning.  Some of you may be feeling the post-holiday blues—maybe your family gathering was filled with too much (or too little) drama; maybe the weekend was more stressful than you wanted, or may be what you thought would happen did not and you were feeling along and disappointed.

If you fall into any of these categories, don’t fret. You’re not alone. As a therapist, my busiest time of the year is the post-holiday season. Spending time with family or wishing you had more time with family, seems to trigger a lot.  Disappointments are at the top of the list. And all the disappointments can be traced back to expectations. So here’s some suggestions to help you manage your expectations as you continue to navigate the holiday season.

First, be aware of your expectations. If you think you don’t have them, think again. Almost everyone has their set of expectations when it comes to the holidays.

Second, determine if you can let go of your expectations. Can you give up the hope that something will happen or not? Can you let go of both positive and negative expectations? Can you be open to what will be, not what you desire or fear it will be?

If so, great. It doesn’t mean that you will not have a reaction to what happens during the holidays. It simply means you won’t be setting yourself up for disappointment, or anyone else for that matter.

If you can’t let go of your expectations, that’s okay. Just be aware that the expectation is there. You then may want to handle things differently.

Here are a couple of paths you can take.

If you have expectations that things will go bad, then come up with a plan—have an exit strategy, practice setting limits, find a way to provide support and care for yourself. If you have expectations that someone will do something, say something, or be something for you in a positive way, come up with a plan as well. Let that person know your wishes; make a request that he or she comes through for you in a particular way. In other words, make your expectations known. This way, you will not set anyone, including yourself, up for failure. Under these circumstances, you have a better chance of your expectations being met, or at the very least, have a conversation that allows you both to understand each other’s perspectives and intentions.

So continue to go into the holiday season with your personal power and integrity. Take responsibility for your expectations and how you respond to what actually takes place. Take good care of yourself and the people you love. You just might discover that this holiday season in your best yet!

As always, I’m here to help support you in creating strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life.

I wish you the very best this holiday season!

I just want to remind you that my holiday gift to you is a 20% discount for purchasing The Pathway to Love program, designed to help you create strong and intimate relationships whether you currently have one or are currently looking for a new and wonderful love. Simply enter the special code Gratitude and order your copy today!

Be well,

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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