What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential


More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

Join the Conversation:


Blog Index
The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.
« Declare a New State of Independence for Yourself | Main | Feeling Out of Control? »

Is the Grass Always Greener on the Other Side?

“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” – Sound familiar? It should. This well-known phrase captures what every person in or out of a relationship thinks from time to time. If you’re currently single, you may be thinking about how much you miss having a partner—someone with whom you can share love, laughter, and life experiences. You long for someone to hold and be with—a relationship that fills those basic human needs and alleviates your moments of loneliness and emptiness.

If you’re in a committed relationship, you just may be thinking about days gone by when you did not have to answer to anyone—when you could sleep, eat, play and shop—when, where and how you pleased. You long for some alone time and the feeling of independence. You miss your freedom.

I want you to know that “missing” the other side is not only normal, but expected. There are benefits and costs to being single and coupled. There will always be a longing, an appreciation and a loss, regardless of your relationship status. It is not a matter of if you feel these things, it is how you move through these times of discontent. No one package is perfect. So here are some realities and coping strategies to help you deal with your moments of doubt. 

If you are transitioning from singlehood to couplehood, be prepared to deal with the following:

At times you will experience

  • Less time to see friends and family as you had previously been accustomed to.
  • Less time for yourself
  • Eating more and possibly gaining weight (singles tend to eat less)
  • A lack of sleep—sleeping with another person can be disruptive, especially if they snore, roll over, or talk in their sleep
  • A loss of autonomy in how you spend your time and money—this increases as your relationship moves toward more commitment and marriage
  • Yearning for the days when you could date different people and party more
  • Less freedom to independently make life choices and act accordingly

If you’ve transitioned from couplehood to singlehood, be prepared to deal with the following: 

At times you will experience

  • Too much free time on your hands
  • Feeling lonely and alone
  • Fantasizing that everyone out there is happily in love
  • Missing a companion to share your life with
  • Feeling like people (or you) think there’s something wrong with you if you’re not in a relationship
  • Missing the touch and connection of intimacy, both emotional and physical

Regardless of what side of the fence you currently reside, here are some general guidelines to help you cope.

  1. Recognize when you are feeling a loss or a missing
  2. Understand that these feelings are transient—they will pass—it doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship, or lack thereof, is bad
  3. Find ways to soothe and comfort yourself as you move through the feelings
  4. Engage in activities that fill those unmet needs appropriately. Some suggestions include creating space for yourself; getting away with friends for the weekend; making sure you have enough human touch—or at least get some “furry friend” touch; letting your partner know your need for ______; problem-solving on how you and your partner manage your money, time, and meals; and so on.

In the meantime, enjoy and appreciate the side of the fence in which you currently reside. Know that there is a time and place for all pastures. Understand that while it’s normal for the other pastures to look greener from where you stand from time to time, someone else from afar is thinking the same of you and yours’.  Be in the moment. Know the missing will pass and take care of yourself and the people you love each step of the way.

If you or someone you know is struggling with appreciating life as it stands today, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I am here to provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

As always, I’m here to support you in creating a transformational life and strong and powerful relationships.

Be well,


Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

P.S. And don't forget to catch my radio/TV show Pathways to Love w'Julie Orlov LIVE every Sunday 1:30pm PST on LATalkLive!

References (5)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    If you enjoy football, you likely have a preferred group from the National Football League or two and have a list of players who like to have observed.
  • Response
    Football is really one particular of the biggest sports in America. It has a main following.
  • Response
    Response: 压瓦机厂
    灿烂却是近黄昏 每当心血来潮或在茶余饭后,总喜欢到那宽敞的文字长廊里看看走走,让指尖欣   然于方寸的键盘,把生活的点滴况味悬挂在 仿古琉璃瓦机 文字长廊里的一隅。   夕阳西下,晚霞飞流,灿烂却是近黄昏。   晚饭后 http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_b30c1d750101ok20.html 一个人漫无目的的,只图享用这黄昏的清凉,欣赏夕阳的余晖装点出来的   壮丽。   绕过别墅,穿过草坪,是两处食肆露天大排档。食客们推杯换盏,酒杯上,   筷子落,杯杯先劝有钱人。   这里本来是个比较偏僻的地方,一条两车道的破 http://www.zcguandao.com 旧
  • Response
    Response: alcoholism
    see here for top quality information on rehab centers around
  • Response
    Response: 真空覆膜机
    来源:http://www.brywjxc.com/information/201 http://www.brywjxc.com/information/2014/0107/216.html 4/0107/216.html 角驰压瓦机 角驰压瓦机安全标准需求   公司的安全技术部分和设备主管部分必需参加压力机(包含剪切机)设备、大修后试运转的检验作业, ...

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>