What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

Join the Conversation:

  

Blog Index
The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.
« The Rhythm of Relationships | Main | Six Steps to Forgiveness »
Saturday
Jul072012

7 Ways to Keep the Courtship Alive

We all know how easy and natural it is to engage in courtship when you first meet someone. You’re excited and wanting to put your best side forward. You are filled with anticipation and feel good hormones. You are enjoying the chase. In the beginning, you not only fall in love with each other but how you treat each other. However, as time goes on and partners feel secure and relaxed, it can become easy to become lackadaisical. After all, haven’t you deserved the right to now relax and rely on the fact that you both know you love each other? Is it necessary to continue the chase that courting entails? Is it really necessary to continue to play the game?

In a nutshell, the answer is yes. Courting behaviors, such as planning nice dates, showing affection, demonstrating desire, going out of your way to please your partner, and seducing each other into romance and passion, are key ingredients to keeping your relationship alive and thriving.

When these behaviors start to fade, disappointment and disillusionment settles in. People feel taken for granted. People get bored. A good relationship requires consistency in your attention. It requires demonstrating appreciation and consideration. It requires reminders that you still want your partner in every way. A little chase every now and then keeps the blood circulating and the heart pumping.

So here are 7 ways to keep the courtship alive.

  1. Don’t forget to kiss—and I mean really kiss—the passionate, can’t keep my hands off you kind of kiss—and do it often. It doesn’t necessitate a lot of time and it doesn’t need to lead to sex. A short passionate kiss goes a long way, even when you are on your way out the door to work. In fact, those out of the blue short passionate kisses generate a lot of punch. Never underestimate the power of the kiss!
  2. Do the little things that count. Fill up the gas tank for your mate, buy her favorite tea, and make his favorite meal. We do these things effortlessly while dating and there’s no reason why you can’t continue to put thought and effort into pleasing your mate.
  3. Be mindful of your appearance. When you’re dating, you take time to look your best for your new love interest. Don’t let things slip too much. While everyone needs those sweats and no make-up days, when you go out or have special time at home, take the time to look your best. Your mate will appreciate the effort.
  4. Be affectionate. Walk holding hands, make time to cuddle, give each other that knowing “wink”, and sit next to each other on the couch while watching TV. Physical connection always helps build emotional connection.
  5. Open doors, pull out chairs, and demonstrate gentlemanly and ladylike behaviors. These time honored rituals really reflect and reinforce mutual respect. Taking on the role of masculine and feminine (while these roles can be shared and reversed) do create a yin and yang that is conducive for love.
  6. Plan fun activities—get out of the house and break out of your routines. Engaging in new activities together creates opportunities to connect, have fun, expand your skills and experiences, and get to know each other better (yes, even after many years). Do something different. Get out of your comfort zone—meet new people, go new places, and try new things.
  7. Create and sustain traditions and rituals exclusive for you and your mate. In the beginning, it is fun to see what traditions or rituals form. As your relationship develops and deepens over time, it becomes important to practice those traditions. It reminds you and your mate that there is something special and unique to the relationship that you both have created with each other.

Keeping your relationship alive doesn’t have to be hard. All of the activities above are simple, easy, and fun. Make it that way. I promise it will do you well.

If you are struggling with keeping the courtship alive in your relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help. It is never too late to bring passion and vitality back into your relationship. As always, I’m here to support you in creating strong and powerful relationships.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

References (10)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    NFL is truly 1 of the biggest sports in America. It has a key following.
  • Response
    Response: index program
    Good page, Maintain the excellent job. Thanks a lot.
  • Response
    Response: alcoholics
    click here for greatest info christopher pruijsen available
  • Response
    Response: a forever recovery
    The top quality information on alcoholism around
  • Response
    Response: forever recovery
    see here for top quality info on forever recovery anywhere
  • Response
    see here for best seo españa anywhere
  • Response
    Response: Long island SEO
    julieorlov - Settling In - 7 Ways to Keep the Courtship Alive
  • Response
    julieorlov - Settling In - 7 Ways to Keep the Courtship Alive
  • Response
    Great write-up. Appreciate it Again. Fantastic.
  • Response
    咬口机,导槽机,剪板机,压瓦机,折弯机,c型钢机,复合板机,双层压瓦机,琉璃瓦机,840彩钢设备,彩钢瓦设备,卷帘门机,三层压瓦机,止水钢板机,角驰压瓦 咬口机 机 导槽机 ,广告扣板机_金辉压瓦机械设备厂 > 产品中心 > 梯形屋面板成型机 &gt,上床,对男人女人都意味着什么?; 梯形屋面板成型机25-210-1050型 1050型梯形屋面板成型机主要由进料导入平台、成型主机、成型剪切装置、液压站、电脑控制系统等几部分组成。生产的产品广泛应用于各种工业厂房、住房、仓库及简易钢棚屋面制作且 剪板机

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>