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“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Tuesday
Jan252011

A "thank you" can go a long way

Whether you’re at work or at home, you are probably doing things for other people all day long.  It may be part of your work responsibilities; it may be part of your parental responsibilities, or simply what goes along with being in a relationship with another human being.  People have different needs and styles when it comes to wanting, giving, and receiving appreciation.  Some people need a lot of recognition and appreciation, others need less.  Some like to hear “thank you”; others like to be surprised with some thoughtful action in return.   You may know someone who shows their appreciation often with words and/or actions and you may know someone who has said “why should I say thank you for someone doing what they’re supposed to do?”

All relationships benefit from the simple act of saying thank you and showing appreciation, even for those little things that we usually take for granted.  Start to notice when your significant other fulfills a request, takes care of his/her responsibility, or extends a loving and kind gesture your way.  Even though he/she may not do the job as well as you would like, doesn’t discount the effort—so take notice of those things as well.

Next, start to extend a quick “thank you” or some gesture of appreciation.  If you’re not sure what kinds of “thank you’s” and appreciations are meaningful to your significant other, then ask.  You don’t need to go crazy with this and say thank you for every single thing someone does for you, but make sure you are looking out for them and showing your appreciation at least twice a day.  Make sure you say twice as many thank you’s as silent, discontent, or oblivious responses to someone fulfilling your wishes.

I guarantee that you will experience a shift in your relationship.  It may be as subtle as you and your partner being in better moods, or as significant as falling in love with each other all over again.  Saying thank you and showing your appreciation will make you feel better no matter what.  Try it!

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work -- learn more at www.julieorlov.com

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