What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

Join the Conversation:

  

Blog Index
The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.

Discover how to have a more loving and secure relationship by transforming disappointment and struggle into an opportunity for deeper intimacy. 

Add to Cart 

Is your relationship a source of anxiety in your life? If you’ve been feeling a distance between you and your partner, it can affect every aspect of your life—your health, your job, and your sense of well-being. Most of us simply don’t know how to handle when the people we love suddenly start behaving like strangers to us. When did their feelings for us change? When did we start to feel so much resentment and fear?There’s a very good reason why we feel so much anxiety when things aren’t going well in love. We are taught to avoid fighting and conflict in relationships as much as we can. We avoid, stuff down, and talk ourselves out of confrontation. Further, we mistakenly believe that if you’re not getting along, or if a crisis has created tension between you and your loved one, your future with that person is questionable. We may even begin to wonder if we are really compatible, or if it’s even worth staying in the relationship.

Like most people in this situation, you may have already made some attempts to smooth things over and get back to what feels “normal.” You’ve accommodated your partner’s desires. You’ve given your partner more space, or the opposite—you’ve been paying more attention to him. When all else fails, you seek advice from friends, therapists, or the Internet.

And despite what you’ve tried, things aren’t improving much.

You agonize:

  • If only he would see things from my perspective…
  • If only she could remember how good things used to be, and fall in love with me again…
  • If only he would listen, and really understand where I’m coming from…
  • If only she would stop withholding real honesty and affection, things could be so much better… 

The Specific Reason Why You’re Still Struggling

The reason why you’re struggling isn’t because your partner is stubborn or lacks the right motivation (or love) to make things right again.

From my many years of professional experience, I’ve discovered the real reason why most conflict occurs is because neither partner really knows each other as well as they think they do

This fundamental lack of understanding is the underlying problem that needs to be solved. 

It’s not about getting your partner to “do” anything or “be” a certain way. Without a deep and profound understanding of both your partner’s internal motivations and your own, all you’ll be doing is addressing the symptoms (such as lack of affection, poor listening skills, power struggles). You won’t be solving the underlying problem, so the cycle perpetuates. The fight over one thing will become a fight over something else tomorrow. The contempt won’t really disappear. It’ll just get buried until the next time something triggers you or your partner. The only way to address the core of what’s really wrong is through discovering who both of you really are and what it is that each of you needs from your relationship.

What I also see over and over with couples who come to me for help is a focus on getting the other person to change and conform to their perception of who their partner is. For example, you’ve always thought your partner was a compassionate, understanding person—you don’t know where all this rage and coldness is coming from and you want it to stop. You admired your partner for his level-headedness and practicality—so why is he suddenly acting like he’s having a mid-life crisis?

Has your partner really changed, or has he simply shattered your false illusion of who he really is?

What Healthy Relationships Have in Common

Healthy relationships that grow and flourish are rich with self-discovery and self-responsibility. Failing relationships that wither are always about getting the other person to “change.”

The secret to having a healthy, secure relationship is knowing more about who you are and who your partner is. It’s simple, and yet, this is not as easy as it may seem. You must know the right questions to ask and the exact steps to take to transform disappointment and pain into deeper intimacy. So, how do you do that? I’ll show you how!

Understand That in Every Crisis, There’s an Opportunity

Your partner lied to you…cheated on you…turned a cold shoulder…ignored your needs…

Your relationship is at a turning point that will either break you apart, or bring you closer.

And while it may seem counterintuitive, you now have the opportunity for strengthening your relationship.

Every relationship moves through four distinct phases. Sometimes it takes a long time to move from one phase to another, and sometimes you can fluctuate between two phases in just one day. Each phase has its unique challenges and opportunities. If you know what those are, you can transform whatever crisis you’re experiencing into higher levels of intimacy and love.

In The Pathway to Love book, workbook, and audio program, you’ll learn how to strengthen and develop your relationship by using crisis to evolve your relationship to a more evolved phase.

Which phase of your developing relationship are you in right now? Where is the unique opportunity for growth and intimacy for you? See if you recognize anything about your situation from the context of the four phases:

Phase 1:

You see your partner as your potential soul mate; you are physically and emotionally attracted and excited by who he or she is. But something is going wrong. Suddenly your partner withdraws, stops calling, turns away from you, or tells you that he or she is not ready for the kind of relationship you want.

Your Opportunity: The Pathway to Love program will help you understand how you’re projecting your fantasies and expectations onto your partner, so you can navigate to a long-term, committed relationship.

Phase 2:

Your partner seems to have changed from when you first fell in love. You’re fighting a lot. New disappointments crop up. He or she isn’t meeting your needs and doesn’t seem interested in what you have to say. Sometimes your needs don’t seem to matter to your partner.

Your Opportunity: The Pathway to Love program allows you to understand yourself, your triggers and reactions. Real love grows from a place of authenticity, not fantasy.

Phase 3:

Some kind of crisis throws your relationship into a tailspin: job loss, infidelity, health issues, or challenges around parenthood. You feel like you’ve been going on autopilot and you’ve lost yourself in the relationship. You’re wondering if your love can survive what is troubling you.

Your Opportunity: The Pathway to Love program allows you to use conflicts as a vehicle toward deeper understanding, acceptance, and love. By learning to be vulnerable and authentic, you can create genuine intimacy.

Phase 4:

You’ve gone through a lot together as a couple. You’ve weathered many storms. But now you’re not sure why you’re still together after all these years. Things seem stagnant and you don’t have a lot in common anymore. Maybe you’re wondering if you’re still in love, and what the future holds for you as a couple.

Your Opportunity: By defining a greater meaning and purpose for your relationship —a vision—and aligning all actions and decisions with the needs of the relationship first, you create a transformational relationship. This is the highest evolution of relationship, and The Pathway to Love program will show you how to attain it.

No Matter How Bad Things Seem Right Now…

No matter how difficult things seem, whether you’re dating, in a committed long-term relationship, or married for decades, The Pathway to Love program can guide you, step by step, through the challenges you’re facing right now in your relationship.

Here’s how it works:

The Pathway to Love Book

...will teach you about all the challenges and opportunities in the four phases of a developing relationship, help you identify which phase you’re in right now, and illustrate the way through stories of how couples evolved their relationships to greater levels of intimacy through conflict, so you can see your relationship in the context of these four phases.

The Pathway to Love Workbook

...will take you, step by step, through a series of questions and reflections that you can do on your own or with your loved one that will move you from your “stuck” state of conflict to resolution and understanding. You’ll have an opportunity to deeply explore your true fears and desires and to learn things about your partner you’ve never known before. You’ll feel your love and trust build with every exercise and question.

 

The Pathway to Love Audio Guide

...is a candid recording of real sessions with real clients as they work with me to move through their specific struggles. You’ll hear me advise a woman who is distraught over a boyfriend who stops returning calls, help a wife and mother decide whether to stay married after her husband had an affair, and offer guidance to a couple who can’t seem to agree on how much closeness and affection is enough. By listening to these real sessions, you’ll see The Pathway to Love program “in action” and be able to apply the core lessons to your own situation.

The Pathway to Love program will also enable you to:

  • Go from struggle, fighting and disappointment to feeling deeper love, deeper trust, and more security in your relationship
  • Explore the truth about yourself and your partner so you can fully accept yourself and your partner and stop feeling “triggered”
  • Redefine, reignite, and breathe new life into your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together or how much distance you’re feeling now
  • Create the right conditions from which you and your partner can heal, grow, and transform

I’ve Built My Career on Helping Couples…     

My name is Julie Orlov, and I’ve been a psychotherapist, executive coach, trainer, and consultant for more than 24 years. I’ve helped thousands of individuals and couples overcome all types of crises, from personal, to relational and professional.

What I know from my many years of experience is that relationships are complex. There are a multitude of factors playing out in each and every moment, including biological differences, childhood experiences, interpersonal dynamics, and past trauma. I base my work from the context of the four phases of a developing relationship because it provides a framework from which to observe ourselves and others more objectively. This framework creates awareness, awareness creates openings, and openings create possibilities—to appreciate, support, and understand one another more profoundly, so that real love can flourish.

If you want to feel secure and loved in your relationship,

Have understanding and acceptance from your partner,

End the fighting and struggle so you can experience peace of mind,

And enjoy having your partner listen to and care about your needs,

So you can stop feeling so alone in your relationship…

Then The Pathway to Love will help you on the journey to transforming your relationship from one of struggle and pain to one of true intimacy and profound love.

Don’t let struggle or disappointment ruin what could be the love of a lifetime! Let me show you how to work through what you’re experiencing and get more love, more affection, and more understanding from your relationship. The key to your well-being and happiness lies in how well you are able to navigate the challenges and opportunities in love. Let me show you my unique, step-by-step method for transforming conflict into greater intimacy.

Here's what people are saying about The Pathway to Love program and how it changed their lives...

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

“The Pathway to Love, for those who did not experience love as a child and fear relationships, is a journey of self-discovery.  You will acquire a whole new appreciation for who you are and what you can bring to your relationship with yourself and others. Orlov demonstrates not only how we affect and create our relationship with ourselves and others but how they can affect us in return on the creative journey of self-discovery and self-love.”

— Bernie Siegel, M.D., author of 365 Prescriptions For The Soul and 101 Exercises For The Soul

“A mercifully easy read, when love certainly isn’t, the book describes the ‘Four Phases of Love.’  Assessing at which level of development sample relationships are floundering, Dr. Orlov shows us the keys to the next door to intimacy with the encouragement that self-discovery will be the ultimate prize.”

—Melanie Chartoff, Actress, Writer

“A little book with a gigantic message... The Pathway to Love is an outstanding guide to building strong and intimate relationships in your life. To help the reader understand the four distinct phases of a relationship, author Julie Orlov lets us peek into the lives of four different couples- each couple in a different phase of relationship. From stage one -object fantasy, to the fourth stage of relational transformation, you will recognize yourself and gain valuable insight that will equip you with all the tools you need for relationship building. At the end of each story, the author reviews what we have gleaned from the couples and ways to navigate relational hurdles. The Pathway To Love is a unique answer to help qualify us for the very rewarding and serious business of human intimacy. Successful relationship will be tolerant, supportive, curious, eager and honest. I give this book a hearty cheer and found it not only informative but very enjoyable.”

—Rhonda Kendle, Spokane, WA

“Orlov presents a developmental model of the pathway to love in a way that is informative and trains the reader how to take charge of developing a love relationship from its present phase to its best outcome.”

—Shahin Sakhi, MD, PhD, clinical faculty, UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute, and President, Grex, Group Relations

“You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.”

—Irene Conlan, Ph.D.

“I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.”

—Paula Markgraf Katz

“Knowing is not doing! This workbook is your path to actually doing what Julie teaches. Like any great guide, the workbook takes your hand and shows you the step-by-step, self-discovery process to reach your relationship destination. I encourage you to start your journey today.”

—Dave Jensen, Executive Coach and Educator, DaveJensenOnLeadership.com

 “Julie simplifies complex psychological theories and enables you to heal past wounds and improve your relationships.”

—Jacqueline Mills, PsyD, psychoanalyst and relational somatic psychotherapist

ORDER THE PROGRAM NOW, download the PDFs and MP3 files, and be reading and listening within minutes! As a bonus, I’ll also mail you a regular hardcopy of the book, the workbook, and the audio guide.  I’ll even include a download of my interview on Carol Allen’s Interview with Enlightening Experts as well as my live presentation on The Pathway to Love recorded during my talk at The Center for Spiritual Living. All transactions are secure—your order information is transmitted using the latest SSL encryption technology to ensure complete and total privacy and security.

Add to Cart 

My Guarantee to You: If for any reason you receive The Pathway to Love materials and determine they’re not right for you or your situation, you may ask for a full refund within 7 days of purchase. I am confident that you’ll benefit from the program and want you to be 100% satisfied with your purchase. If you aren’t, simply write me at support@julieorlov.com within 7 days of your purchase and I’ll see to it that you are refunded promptly.

 

 

 

 

Special Bonus this month only! 

Add to CartFor those of you interested in individualized, private coaching to supplement your journey, I am offering a half-price coaching session when purchased with your Pathway to Love Program! Everything above is included, plus a 60-minute phone coaching session with Julie Orlov, completely focused on your unique needs for just $247. 

 

 

 

 

 

View Cart