What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in intimacy (11)

Thursday
Jul172014

The 10 Best Dating Tips I Know

Dating should be a positive experience, not something you dread or drool over. Keeping yourself centered, having a level head and bringing a great attitude always wins the day. I find that the art of dating is losing some ground, especially among younger people. Dating requires two people to bring their best forward. Each person holds responsibility for making the date enjoyable, regardless of whether it leads to another date or not. It's not about manipulation. It's not about ego satisfaction. It's about treating someone the way you would like to be treated. It's about getting to know someone and enjoying some time together. So instead of focusing on how to meet and keep that someone special, I'd like to get back to basics.

Here are my top 10 tips for creating a great dating experience for yourself and your date. Note: I know these tips may sound like common sense, but common sense seems to be in short supply these days. So put your attitude aside and ask yourself how many of these tips do you follow on a regular basis. You just might be surprised.

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Friday
Jun202014

Don't Let Your Ex Sabotage Your Future Relationship 

When you are ready to start dating, your last relationship may be getting in the way. For example, if your ex was a great lover, you may compare his love making with every potential partner that comes your way. If your new love interest doesn't add up, you may focus on the comparison, dismissing all the wonderful qualities that belong to this new man, and only this man. In an effort to re-live or hang on to something meaningful from the past, you may be jeopardizing your future.

Other times, your past relationship may bring up painful memories. So when you begin dating someone new, you may become hyper vigilante--looking for anything that might indicate your new love interest is like your ex. For example, if your ex cheated on you, you will look for anything that might indicate he has a wandering eye. And when you find something, and by the way you WILL find something if you're looking for it, you may jump to conclusions prematurely. In an effort to protect yourself, you may sabotage a newly developing relationship unnecessarily.

To make matters worse, our memories are fallible. We can remember people being far better or worse than they were. We tend to distort our memories. They shift over time. They changed based on how much time has passed, what is currently at stake and who and what we are comparing them with.

So be careful. Don't let your memories of your ex get in the way of learning and appreciating someone new. To help you with this endeavor, here are some signs that your Ex may be sabotaging your future relationship.

1. You only remember the good things about your ex.
2. You believe your ex was your soul mate and secretly wish you were still together.
3. You only remember the bad things about your ex.
4. You have not resolved the trauma experienced in your past relationship.
5. You don't trust yourself to evaluate a new person and determine if the relationship is healthy for you.
6. You are so uncomfortable with the empty space that now exists since your breakup with your ex that you will jump into any relationship that comes your way.
7. Not enough time has passed since your last relationship ended in order to gain a balanced perspective.

Take the time you need to process your past relationship so you can see things realistically. Get the help you need in order to learn what you need to learn moving forward. Make the necessary changes in yourself so you can be your best in your next relationship. And last, remember every person and every relationship is unique. And while comparing one to another is normal, don't let any comparisons distract you from discovering who someone new is and developing your best relationship yet!

If you are someone you know is struggling with dating and finding love, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

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