What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in intimacy (11)

Wednesday
May112016

Dating in the Electronic Age

I don’t think social media, dating sites and apps like tinder have done us any good when it comes to dating and finding love. In fact, I’d argue that it has hurt us as society, a society comprised of human beings who long for connection and community. It has turned people into items found in a catalog with their own skew numbers, descriptions, ratings and reviews and return policies. It has turned others into catalog shoppers who get sucked into shiny ads and false promises on what they can expect if they click the “buy” button. It has turned relationships into disposable commodities just like your new iPhone that will be obsolete in six months. It makes commitment less desirable when you know that there will always be another new shinny object coming your way that promises to be better. 

With a culture based on greed, consumption, and insatiable need for instant and constant gratification, our electronic gadgets provide the perfect dispensary for our new addictions and unrealistic expectations. What happened to the days when you met people in your everyday life and cultivated a relationship over time as you got to know one another? What happened to the days when attraction was based on something more than a picture and a headline? What happened to us?

I know I sound quite cynical but as I look around me and see the demise of ethical values and a commitment to building real relationships that mean something, I worry. I want my daughters to grow up in a world that values people for the special beings that we are. I want them to know that their value extends beyond that of a “hook-up” or “booty-call” or filling in a night of boredom for some random person on-line. I want this generation to understand that porn is not an accurate portrayal of sexual intimacy between two people and that there is value in spending time getting to know someone before hoping into bed.

I worry about women who feel like they have to compete with air brushed images on our electronic devices and I worry about men who feel that have to limit their sense of self to the stereotypes that prevail. People who are seeking loving committed intimate relationships should not have to advertise. Human beings are lovable no matter what. It is time to turn off your devices and opt-out of succumbing to the pressures of creating an entire marketing and sales campaign in order to feel accepted, wanted and loved.

Please, let’s stop the insanity!

Be well,

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you love is interested in creating strong and intimate relationships in every area of their life, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Sunday
Jan172016

Avoid These 6 Signs of Desperation in 2016

I published this article a year ago and thought it would be a good reminder for all of you who have made New Year resolutions on finding and making new love work. I have found that people who want something so desperately can find themselves acting in desperate ways. And desperation is the quickest way to lose your personal power and integrity. So in the spirit of having a powerful and successful year, read on.

Nothing turns people off more than desperation and neediness. And if you are getting serious about finding love in 2016, you will want to stay away from people who need you to make themselves whole, fixed, or stable. And you certainly don't want to be a desperate dater yourself.

Whether you are a seasoned dater or just staring out after a hiatus, here are 6 signs of dating desperation.

1. You leave a message or send a text to your new love interest but can't wait comfortably for the person to call or text you back. You obsessively look for their reply or worse, you text or call again within 24 - 48 hours.

2. You turn down invitations from friends and family because you want to leave yourself open "just in case" he or she calls you and wants to get together.

3. You say yes to everything your new love interest suggests and allow the relationship to be on his or her terms for fear of rejection.

4. You rationalize, tolerate or ignore bad dating behavior. These include breaking dates at the last minute, arriving very late without calling, changing plans on you without asking, and other disrespectful behaviors. If you're not sure what behaviors constitute disrespect, you are probably tolerating too many of them.

5. You're focused on if your date likes you or not, or if your date will want to see you again. You are NOT focused on if you like your date or not, if you want to go out with him or her again, or if this person treats you with the respect you deserve.

6. Even when this person tells you they are not interested in a relationship, dating you exclusively, or dating you at all, you ignore this and pursue him or her even more, convinced that this person is the one for you.

If you recognize yourself or someone you care about, I strongly encourage you to get help. You may be suffering from temporary insanity--a paralysis of power--often stemming from some kind a crazy response that this individual elicits. Or you are suffering from chronic anxiety and low self-worth. Either way, help is available. Feel free to call 310-379-5855 or write and schedule an appointment. There is a way for you to reclaim your power, confidence and self-respect.  And if that's not enough, you will certainly have better dating experiences and relationship results.

Here's to a successful year of love!

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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