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“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

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Sunday
Feb032013

Facebook—A Relationship’s Friend or Foe

With all the publicity on people creating false identities on Facebook and dooping unsuspected people looking for love, I thought it was time to sort things out. People have been lying about who they are on the internet for as long as the internet has been in the business of love and relationships. Sometimes the lies are innocent enough—you fib a bit about your height or weight or post a picture that’s a decade old on your Facebook or dating site profile. Other times, as with the Manti Te’o's affair, the lies are massive as are the intended and unintended consequences and harm. And it appears that the problem is now pervasive—that a term (and a reality TV series) Catfish, was born.

Some people love social media. Some people hate social media. The one thing I do know is that social media is here to stay. So I thought it was important to point out once again the benefits and the dangers inherent in this powerful media. I know that many of you after reading this article will say “duh” but I encourage you to read on regardless. You’d be surprised how easy it is to get caught up in the deceptive and alluring appeal that social media has—on your judgment, behaviors, and beliefs.

So here’s the good, the bad, and the ugly. Take them as gentle (or not so gentle) reminders of how Facebook (and all social media outlets) can be both your friend and foe.

The Good—Social Media allows you to

  • Maintain contact with a large group of friends, family, and acquaintances
  • Keep up to date with all the latest happenings and share photos, news, and special events with your circle of “friends”
  • Find old friends and acquaintances with whom you have lost contact
  • Find information, referrals, and sources for things you need and want
  • Expand your opportunity to meet people from all around the globe, most of whom you would never have the opportunity to meet throughout your lifetime
  • Engage in interesting conversations and debates with a diversity of people
  • Have a voice with your vendors, customers, representatives, and the public
  • Feel less lonely and more connected to the human race
  • Build a community or become part of an on-line community

The Bad—Social Media allows you to

  • Hide behind a computer screen, whereby the anonymity enables you to deceive, lie, and hide
  • Say hurtful things to others that you would never say to anyone face to face
  • Refrain from taking full responsibility for your actions and words
  • Believe you have a relationship with someone when you do not. Real relationships DO NOT occur solely over the internet!
  • Give you the illusion of intimacy when none exists
  • Disengage from the real world where you meet and interact with people face to face
  • Cause tremendous harm to others by spreading photos and gossip without understanding the unintended consequences—both to yourself and others
  • Create a digital thumbprint that stays with you forever. Remember, some of what you imprint will come back to haunt you over and over again.
  • Take the easy way out—how many people start and end their relationship via Facebook or other messages in digital form
  • Stalk others online
  • Engage in behaviors that are destructive to relationships—excessive porn use, seeking extra-marital affairs, portraying false identities in whole or in part
  • Create an elaborate fantasy life at the cost of creating real connections based on who you and others truly are

The Ugly—Social Media allows you to

  • Con people out of money
  • Con people into illegal activities
  • Take advantage of lonely people looking for love and happiness
  • Be victimized by troubled individuals

So here’s what I want you to remember. Social media is powerful. Beware of the dangers. Utilize its gifts. And most of all, understand that the internet is a great way to meet someone but it is NOT the place to develop, create, and sustain a relationship. That must be done the old fashion way—face to face—having shared and varied experiences over a long period of time.

It’s okay to love social media. Just love the power of human connection more!

If you or someone you know is struggling with creating a strong and intimate relationship, please reach out and contact me. I am here to provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

A couple of special announcements:

Starting February 11th, From February 11th- March 11th,, I'm joining my good friend Ellen Smoak, author of Breakups Are A Bitch, But Getting Over Him Doesn't Have To Be! And twenty-one of the World’s Leading Love, Sex, Dating, and Relationship Experts who are coming together live online to put an end to your dating and relationship struggles once and for all. You've invited to this rare online event for FREE. Plus...When you register today, you'll get a Bonus Package worth over $297 just for signing up, loaded with additional advice on finding Happy Healthy Hot Love this year!

Please Don’t forget to join me for my LIVE Create Your Pathway to Love Workshop on February 23, 9am-1pm in Hermosa Beach, California. For more information and to register, go to www.yourpathwaytolove.eventbrite.com.

Catch me LIVE every Friday at 2:30pm PT on Pathways to Love w’ Julie Orlov on www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love. Call in with your questions and comments at 323-473-3100 or Skype LATalkLive or comment on FB at www.facebook.com/JulieOrlov

As always, I’m here to support you in creating strong and powerful relationships.

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

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