What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in relationship coaching (12)

Friday
Jun062014

5 Things To Do When The Rug has Been Pulled Out From Under You

You think you know your significant other. You feel secure in this relationship and believe that all is well. That is until one day, you get the rug pulled out from under you. You discover your significant other has a sexually transmitted disease, you discover your spouse is addicted to porn, you discover your partner was really married twice, not once before you met.

You feel like you've been hit in the stomach--not only because of what you've learned but also because your ability to trust has been shattered--not only the ability to trust your loved one, but your ability to trust yourself.

These kinds of upsets happen and they happen when you least expect it. Last week, I described all the reasons why people may not disclose everything about themselves to their partner. One of the reasons is they feel shame around the issue. Another reason is they know the relationship would be at risk. So when their worst fears are met and the secret is revealed, you must deal with the painful truth about who your partner is and what he or she has done.

Dealing with these kinds of surprises is complicated. There are many feelings and issues to address and work through. So while I am giving you an abbreviated version of what those things are, I encourage you to seek support if and when you find yourself on the floor with the rug pulled out.

Here are 5 things to help you get back on your feet.

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Wednesday
Feb192014

You Never Know What's Around the Corner

Think your life is settled and secure? Think your life will never be anything but a struggle? Well, think again. Because the one thing you can count on is the unexpected. One day a loved one will suddenly die. Your spouse may come home and ask for a divorce. Your job that you thought was secure will be lost. Your cat will get hit by a car. You will fall and break your leg. 

Hold on. I know. You think I'm quite the cynic. Really, I'm not. I'm just a realist. So before you think I only see the world in terms of impending doom, here are my other thoughts.

One day while meeting a friend for dinner you will meet the love of your life. One day you discover that your spouse has been secretly saving and planning for that dream vacation and surprises you with airline tickets. Your mother sends you a check just when you ran out of money for the month and have no groceries. Your boss tells you that you've been selected for the big promotion. You find out that you are cancer free.  Your daughter tells you that you are about to become a grandparent. You hold your grandchild in your arms for the first time. You laugh when your best friend shares their latest dating disaster with a sense of humor and resolve.

That's right. Life as you know it will not be the same in the very near future. The biggest mistake people make is in trying to control that inevitability and resist life's constant movement. The most resilient people understand that they need to flex, adapt and roll with the punches. That just because a new chapter has emerged does not mean it won't be as or more meaningful than the last. The happiest people thrive with change. And the most successful people never expect that life should be anything different than a constant flow of events—some of which will be perceived as good, some of which will be perceived as bad. In reality, they are neither.

Your perception is dependent upon the view from where you stand in any one moment. An event may seem great from a specific moment in time and may seem not so great from another. So don't get attached to any one idea you may have about your life. Why?

Because you never know what's around the corner.

Enjoy the ride!

If you or someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of their life, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Be well,

Julie

P.S. Don't forget to catch my radio/TV show Pathways to Love w'Julie Orlov LIVE every Sunday 1:30pm PST on LATalkLive!

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

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Sunday
Jan122014

Did You Know January is The Month of Divorce?  

Did you know that the highest number of people filing for divorce occurs each January? This occurs for several reasons including 

  • Most people don't have the heart to file for divorce and leave their spouse during the holidays—especially if they have kids.
  • People often wait to see if their spouse will do something, anything, to save the marriage and more often than not, they end up falling short. Furthermore, most of the time the spouse did not even know that this final test was in place.
  • People begin to realize that their family life is not what they thought it was. They determine that the relationship is so bad that staying for the sake of their children no longer makes sense. They experience so much disappointment during the holidays that their last hope dissolves.
  • Spouses drink too much, eat too much, argue too much, stress out too much. Sometimes this is the straw that breaks the camel's back.

If you find yourself getting ready to file for divorce and throw in the towel, you might want to wait until February. Take the time to make sure that your marriage is truly over and not the victim of the pre and post-holiday drama. It is definitely worth taking one more look to see if there's any possibility to turn things around. 

If you or someone you know is contemplating divorce, contact me today! Investing in a session to see if there marriage can be revived is well worth it. Soliciting the help of a qualified licensed professional will ensure that you've covered all your bases and can determine next steps with peace of mind. And believe me, working on your marriage is far less expensive than navigating a legal divorce. You're worth it, you're family is worth it, and your marriage is worth it. Call today at 310-379-5855 or 1-888-997-2847 or email me to schedule your consultative session today.

Be well,

Julie

 

P.S. Don't forget to catch my radio/TV show Pathways to Love w'Julie Orlov LIVE every Sunday 1:30pm PST on LATalkLive!

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

Click to read more ...

Saturday
Oct052013

Are You In-Love with a Narcissist?

One day you meet a great guy (or girl). You are drawn to this person from the beginning. You feel a strong connection—like you've finally found your soulmate. You are charmed and feel very special. You inhale the intoxicating feeling of being in love. All is good. Then one day, out of the blue, you feel dismissed, rejected, unimportant and irrelevant. You're confused, wondering what went wrong—wondering why your new love has sudden changed. The minute you try to confront your love, asking why his attention has suddenly gone away, you receive a patronizing, condescending attitude, as if somehow, it is you who has the problem. Your need for attention and validation becomes heightened. Instead of feeling special, you begin to feel crazy and judged. You see yourself as desperate when in truth it is your new love that is desperate for constant attention and validation.  And if you dare to criticize your new love in any way, you are met with anger—for a true narcissist does not like to be seen as anything other than perfect.

You find yourself altering your behavior so you can once again find that charming person who made you feel so good. You may compromise your personal integrity and values. You focus all your energies on how to make your partner love you, spend time with you and treat you once again like the answer to his prayers. All your energies are drained—little, if any, is returned from your love.

Being with a narcissist (or anyone with a character disorder) is draining. You continue to work hard to capture those few moments in time when being with your love felt great. Now here's the tricky part. He will. She will. That is the drug that a narcissist gives. It is the intermittent reinforcement of feeling so special and cared for that keeps you hanging in there, waiting and wanting more. That is the narcissist's hook. It is not bad all the time. And when it is good, it is really good.

Here's what's important for you to know. Narcissists are.... Click Read in Browser to access full article

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Sunday
Jul072013

How to Deal with Anger  

As a therapist, I am always emphasizing the importance of communication. Being willing to express and hear each other's feelings is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship. However, some feelings are harder to take than others. Take anger. Anger can be hurtful and scary. It is normal to want to retreat and protect yourself from another's wrath. However, if you want a strong and intimate relationship, all feelings need to be expressed and received. You can't include the nice feelings and exclude the hard ones. It just doesn't work that way.

Some people are better at dealing with anger than others.  Some of you may have had anger directed at you in hurtful and damaging ways growing up. Others may have had little experience dealing with anger, having grown up in families that didn't express negative feelings at all. And some of you may have grown up in families where anger was an acceptable emotion that was dealt with in fairly healthy ways.  So whichever category you see yourself in, I'd like to give some helpful hints on how to hear—and I mean really hear—your partner's anger in a way that leaves you and your relationship whole as opposed to fragmented.

When your partner expresses anger, consider the following and try to implement the following process:... Click Read in Browser to read full article

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