What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in marital conflict (16)

Sunday
Dec082013

The Parable of The Boiled Frog

I want to tell you a story about frogs. I know this doesn't sound like it pertains to relationships but I promise you, if you hang in there long enough, you'll get the analogy.

Here's how the story goes.

If you place a living frog in a pot of boiled water, the frog will jump out of the pot and save himself. He knows that danger lurks and his life depends on getting the heck out of there. However, if you place a frog in a pot with tepid water and slowly raise the temperature until it hits the boiling point, the frog will remain in the pot and die.

Because the temperature rises at such a slow rate, the frog doesn't notice that anything is wrong until it is too late. When the crisis hits, he is unable to escape from the boiling water. His inability to discern danger when it accumulates slowly over time is the cause his demise. His ability to adapt, tolerate and accommodate to his slowly changing and seemingly benign environment  may serve the frog in the short run—but in the end, does him in.

Now, turn your attention to your most significant relationship. What dynamics are continuing to build—dynamics that if go unnoticed and unaddressed will be the cause of your relationship's demise?  What is your version of the parable of the boiled frog?

Most relationships have at least one dynamic that will chip away at its foundation slowly over time if left unnoticed. For some, it is the addiction of one person and the collusion to that addiction from the other.  For others, it's one person’s inability to deal with their fears and anxieties and the other person's persistence in taking care of those feelings for them, often at the expense of their own needs and feelings. And for others, it's one person's resistance to growing up, taking risks and being responsible and the other person's controlling behaviors that enable their mate to stay stuck and small.  Whichever dynamic speaks to you, at the end of the day, you, your mate, and your relationship are at risk. Overtime, the temperature rises and health becomes impossible. Without a healthy environment, living beings begin to wither. Relationships, spirit, love, and emotional health are at stake.

While the dynamics may differ slightly from relationship to relationship, the results are the same. When two people accommodate each other's desire to avoid, deny, and sustain unhealthy ways of being, they keep each other safe and small. What they don't realize is that they are just like the frogs living in tepid water, water that is slowly rising in temperature until that one fateful day when they will unknowingly perish within the boiling waters.

So how can YOU avoid this from happening in your own relationship?  Here are a few things you can do to wake up and feel the temperature. Click Read in Browser to find out now!

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Sunday
Aug042013

5 Words That Will Ruin Your Marriage

Here's another article I published on YourTango a couple of months ago. It received thousands and thousands of hits and was syndicated on many other well-known sites. This article addresses what specific words to avoid during arguments and discussions as well as what specifically you can say and ask instead. This one is another must read!

Words are powerful. They can cut you, heal you, inspire you, and stop you. Learning the language of marriage takes time and due diligence. Here are 5 words that are destined to cause damage to your marriage. Say them regularly and the damage may be irreparable.

To read full article, Click Read in Browser

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Sunday
May122013

Relationship Help! My Wife is Always Angry with Me! 

Watch as Julie Orlov explains what is happening in your marriage when a spouse is always angry and you feel like you can never do anything right. Learn what to do to save your marriage and create a more healthy and loving way of dealing with marital and relationship issues.

Everyone knows what it’s like to be in a no-win situation. You feel like whatever you do it will never be enough to please the person you love (or anyone for that matter). You feel like you live in the “dog house” and don’t know why. You only know that it’s getting cold and lonely out there and you’d like to come back in.

All kidding aside, feeling like you are constantly on the receiving end of someone’s wrath gets old. It starts to wear down the trust and love within a relationship. On the other hand, if you or your significant other are experiencing constant frustration, then there is something to look at and understand. People can be angry and frustrated over a long period of time for a variety of reasons.

Click here to view my Q&A video that addresses the reasons why this dynamic occurs in relationships and what to do about it.

For those of you that prefer to read, click "Read in Browser" to read the full article.

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Sunday
Mar172013

Love and Relationship Q&A Video with Julie Orlov - "Why is my husband so critical of me?"

Get relationship help! Watch as Julie Orlov answers your questions on love and relationships. Today's questions addresses why your spouse is overly critical of you and what you can do about it. Just click on the read more in browser and it will take you there!

Get your questions answered by sending them in today at Julie@julieorlov.com  or leave it on this blog's comment section. Your questions will be answered this Friday, March 22nd LIVE on “Pathways to Love w’ Julie Orlov” at 2:30pm PST on www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love .  Or call in with your questions and comments during the show at 323-473-3100! Can’t catch it live? No worries—you can always watch the recorded show anytime at www.latalklive.com/new/pathways-to-love!

You can also view this video along with all my other videos on my Youtube channel at http://youtu.be/J30SMZbSFLI

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Sunday
Jan202013

Love and Relationship Q&A – Julie Orlov – “Why do we argue about the same issue over and over again?”

Relationship Help! Watch and listen as Julie Orlov answers your questions on Love and Relationships. Today’s question is “Why do we argue about the same issue over and over again?” It is very common for couples to revisit issues. Unresolved issues lead to frustration, disconnect, and resignation. Find out why this is happening and what you can do to resolve your issues once and for all! Watch at http://youtu.be/YBb5N2nXTtU

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