What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in conflict (7)

Friday
Jun062014

5 Things To Do When The Rug has Been Pulled Out From Under You

You think you know your significant other. You feel secure in this relationship and believe that all is well. That is until one day, you get the rug pulled out from under you. You discover your significant other has a sexually transmitted disease, you discover your spouse is addicted to porn, you discover your partner was really married twice, not once before you met.

You feel like you've been hit in the stomach--not only because of what you've learned but also because your ability to trust has been shattered--not only the ability to trust your loved one, but your ability to trust yourself.

These kinds of upsets happen and they happen when you least expect it. Last week, I described all the reasons why people may not disclose everything about themselves to their partner. One of the reasons is they feel shame around the issue. Another reason is they know the relationship would be at risk. So when their worst fears are met and the secret is revealed, you must deal with the painful truth about who your partner is and what he or she has done.

Dealing with these kinds of surprises is complicated. There are many feelings and issues to address and work through. So while I am giving you an abbreviated version of what those things are, I encourage you to seek support if and when you find yourself on the floor with the rug pulled out.

Here are 5 things to help you get back on your feet.

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Saturday
Oct052013

Are You In-Love with a Narcissist?

One day you meet a great guy (or girl). You are drawn to this person from the beginning. You feel a strong connection—like you've finally found your soulmate. You are charmed and feel very special. You inhale the intoxicating feeling of being in love. All is good. Then one day, out of the blue, you feel dismissed, rejected, unimportant and irrelevant. You're confused, wondering what went wrong—wondering why your new love has sudden changed. The minute you try to confront your love, asking why his attention has suddenly gone away, you receive a patronizing, condescending attitude, as if somehow, it is you who has the problem. Your need for attention and validation becomes heightened. Instead of feeling special, you begin to feel crazy and judged. You see yourself as desperate when in truth it is your new love that is desperate for constant attention and validation.  And if you dare to criticize your new love in any way, you are met with anger—for a true narcissist does not like to be seen as anything other than perfect.

You find yourself altering your behavior so you can once again find that charming person who made you feel so good. You may compromise your personal integrity and values. You focus all your energies on how to make your partner love you, spend time with you and treat you once again like the answer to his prayers. All your energies are drained—little, if any, is returned from your love.

Being with a narcissist (or anyone with a character disorder) is draining. You continue to work hard to capture those few moments in time when being with your love felt great. Now here's the tricky part. He will. She will. That is the drug that a narcissist gives. It is the intermittent reinforcement of feeling so special and cared for that keeps you hanging in there, waiting and wanting more. That is the narcissist's hook. It is not bad all the time. And when it is good, it is really good.

Here's what's important for you to know. Narcissists are.... Click Read in Browser to access full article

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