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“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

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You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in angry outbursts (3)

Sunday
Feb072016

5 Tips to Help You Let Go of Your Anger

People get angry. Usually our anger passes. We get over it. We’ve either expressed our feelings, forgiven another, or thought it through and let it go. However, there are times when our anger doesn’t easily dissipate or we thought we let it go, only to discover that something has triggered the old anger once again.

I receive a lot of emails from spouses complaining that their other half is always angry—angry at them, angry at the world.

Here are some questions to ask yourself (or your significant other) when your anger doesn’t seem to go away or stay away very long.

  1. What resolution am I still waiting for--an apology, justice, a different outcome, agreement, or simply getting my way? Sometimes you just can’t get what you want. Having the grace to move forward in your life instead of getting trapped in a temper tantrum is what separates the victims from the victors. Which one do you want to be?
  2. Am I willing to accept that I may not get what I want? Am I able to let go and surrender to what is? Acceptance is the doorway to making powerful choices and creating the life you want.
  3. Can I forgive? Forgiveness is the antidote for anger. It brings you peace and allows you to move forward in your life with power.
  4. Can I choose to make a different choice and take a different action that will result in a different outcome? It may not be what I wanted in the first place but it is something I can live with.
  5. Can I settle into being with the unknown and letting things work out naturally? Sometimes the universe has a better plan in mind. When you’re patient and able to sit with the unknown, magical things begin to happen. Give it a try.  

So the next time you find yourself or your significant other stuck in their anger, take the time to see what you’re willing to consider. And if you choose to stay angry, then own it as a choice. There’s power in that as well.

If you or someone you know needs help in understanding what their anger is all about and letting it go, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized counseling and coaching. Take advantage of the opportunity to receive the support and guidance you deserve. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today.

Be well,

Julie

About me: www.julieorlov.com/about

About The Pathway to Love at-home program: www.julieorlov.com/pathway-to-love

About your relationship: Get your Free Relationship Assessment Quiz at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

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Sunday
Jul072013

How to Deal with Anger  

As a therapist, I am always emphasizing the importance of communication. Being willing to express and hear each other's feelings is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship. However, some feelings are harder to take than others. Take anger. Anger can be hurtful and scary. It is normal to want to retreat and protect yourself from another's wrath. However, if you want a strong and intimate relationship, all feelings need to be expressed and received. You can't include the nice feelings and exclude the hard ones. It just doesn't work that way.

Some people are better at dealing with anger than others.  Some of you may have had anger directed at you in hurtful and damaging ways growing up. Others may have had little experience dealing with anger, having grown up in families that didn't express negative feelings at all. And some of you may have grown up in families where anger was an acceptable emotion that was dealt with in fairly healthy ways.  So whichever category you see yourself in, I'd like to give some helpful hints on how to hear—and I mean really hear—your partner's anger in a way that leaves you and your relationship whole as opposed to fragmented.

When your partner expresses anger, consider the following and try to implement the following process:... Click Read in Browser to read full article

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Sunday
Aug122012

6 Steps to Settling Angry Outbursts

Debbie came to me complaining that her husband would lash out in anger without warning and she felt like she was no longer able to cope. She told me that she finds herself walking on egg shells, hoping that her next move will not trigger another meltdown. And while these outbursts did not happen every day or even every week, when they did, they caught her off guard and left her feeling devastated. She told me that her husband was a good man and would eventually apologize for his words—an apology that at this point holds little regard. Debbie doesn’t know what to do. She feels her marriage is fairly good with the exception of her husband’s issue with anger and looked to me for help.

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