What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Blog Index
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Sunday
Jan252015

What Do You Do When Your Spouse Can't Keep a Job? Julie Orlov's Q&A Video Response Awaits!

Given that the economy is still on the mend, I thought it would be helpful to do an encore presentation of my video Q&A "Help, My Wife Can't Keep a Job!"  This video explores how to deal with a spouse who doesn't keep her word in securing and maintaining employment. In today’s economy, it is not uncommon for couples to fight about money and employment. People are having more difficulty securing and maintaining employment and this results in a lot of fear, anxiety, and conflict. Learn how to approach this sensitive topic and ways that help resolve this and similar issues in your relationship.

Remember, things are rarely black and white. There are typically multiple factors affecting and at the effect of relationship issues. This video offers you a process from which to explore and uncover what is taking place and why, and what you can do to move forward toward a satisfactory resolution.

To watch this and other Julie Orlov videos on YouTube, click http://youtu.be/060YWDhN4WQ

To watch this video and access other articles on relationships, click Read in Browser and enjoy all the resources offered at JulieOrlov.com.

Enjoy!

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know struggles with on-going conflict in their relationships, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Friday
Dec052014

My Quote for the Year!

Every now and then, I come across a quote that warrants a place in my blog. A friend of mine sent me this quote the other week. I loved it so much I want to pass it on to you as my quote of the year. 
 
    "When you start to really know someone, all of their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That's why you can't fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not with your heart. And that's why, when you really connect with a person's inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, becoming irrelevant."  - Lisa Unger 
 
This is a beautifully written passage and one that speaks so many truths on so many levels. I am still amazed at just how much emphasis we place on exterior beauty--or at least the latest version of what we consider beautiful--and just how much energy and emotional turmoil is spent in trying to reach that standard or denigrate ourselves for lacking there in.
 
While I know there are research studies that explain how certain physical characteristics trigger certain responses in our brain stem and how our mammalian brain works to ensure the survival of the species, our obsession with how we look has gone far beyond any evolutionary needs. We use beauty as a weapon--a weapon against ourselves and each other. We use beauty as a means to feel powerful and secure--all of which is simply untrue. I've seen empty marriages and relationships based on beauty. I've seen couples argue and fight over the need for beauty. And sadly, I've seen too many people suffer physically, emotionally, and spiritually all over our obsession with beauty.
 
What a waste of our humanity.
 
What a waste of energy.
 
I can't even imagine how many opportunities for love and connection have never been fully realized in the pursuit of perfection.
 
It's left us feeling isolated, alone and disconnected.
 
And yet everyone of us knows the real truth. When you are faced with losing someone you love, it is not their external physical appearance you will miss. If this were the case, you could alleviate the loss by simply looking at a photograph. You miss your loved one's energy, essence, heart, mind and soul.
 
So this holiday season, instead of making the new year's resolution to lose 10 pounds, get a face-lift, breast augmentation, nose job, wax job, hair extensions, or whatever else you believe will make you physically desirable and acceptable, why not make a resolution to love your beautiful self and the people around you as is.
 
Remember what truly counts. Remember what will one day be missed.
 
Wishing you all a joyous holiday season filled with love and self-discovery.
I just want to remind you that my holiday gift to you is a 20% discount for purchasing The Pathway to Love program, designed to help you create strong and intimate relationships whether you currently have one or are currently looking for a new and wonderful love. Simply enter the special code Gratitude and order your copy today!
Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life, don’t hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Monday
Nov102014

What Does Forgiveness Do For You?

It’s been about a year since this video was featured in my weekly articles. As the topic is so important, I wanted to revisit the topic of forgiveness. We often stop ourselves from forgiving because we think that in doing so we will be condoning the behavior that hurt us. We also think we can somehow hold on to our power and protect ourselves when we hold on to our righteous indignation, anger and hurt.

In truth, the opposite is true. Through our forgiveness we gain back our power, find compassion and connect with love and respect for self and others. It is through our forgiveness, that we win.

So enjoy this encore of Love and Relationship Q&A w' Julie Orlov "Why is it so difficult to forgive?" Today's question deals with how difficult it can be to forgive someone who hurt or disappointed you. Listen as Julie Orlov talks about the power of forgiveness, how to move from defensiveness toward forgiveness and why it will set you free!

You can view this video on YouTube at http://youtu.be/5BqKDzWP2dY or click read in browser to watch it on my website along with many other videos and articles designed to help you create strong and intimate relationships in every area of your life.

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Saturday
Oct112014

Why Those Same Old Issues Never Seem to Go Away

Every couple has their core issues. Some are relatively minor, some are quite serious. Some issues can be handled easily and resolved quickly. For example, a couple may have different needs when it comes to spending time together. One person may require a lot of time on their own, while their partner needs more together time. In this case, couples may find a middle ground that works for both of them. With love and understanding, this couple can find the compromise that works. They may need to tweak their agreement from time to time, but overall, this issues does not wreak a lot of havoc—they understand and handle the differences without taking it personally.

Other issues are more complicated. There are deeper wounds attached and behavioral change is not so simple. These issues create a domino effect as one partner's behavior creates a reaction in the other that triggers more acting out in one’s partner that then creates even more distress for the other and so on and so on. I'm sure you can relate to having this kind of issue in your current or past relationship. It may involve an addiction, a destructive way of handling feelings, or other preferences and coping skills that cause negative consequences for the relationship.

We all have developed coping skills. Some work well for us but not for others. Some are overall healthier than others. Regardless, deeply ingrained coping strategies are hard to change. Thus, these issues tend to come up again and again in relationships. They have to. It takes time and repetition for someone to release a maladaptive way of coping and create a replacement strategy. This involves a lot of self-awareness, commitment and discipline in making a change. In all honesty, some people can do this and some cannot. Even with the best of intentions, the results aren't guaranteed.

So if you are experiencing an issue in your relationship that continues to come up again and again, understand that this is normal. Both you and your partner need to know that change occurs slowly over time and a commitment to see this through is required from both of you. Even under the best of circumstances, breakdowns will occur.

For example, let's say your husband (or wife) has a temper. He deals with his frustration and anger in ways that you find hurtful and unacceptable. He yells and demonstrates contempt for you when he's angry. He personally attacks you and finds ways to make sure you know that you are the problem, not him. This causes you to feel utterly belittled, hopeless and resigned. Eventually things calm down, you do what it takes to reassure your husband, point out what doesn't work for you, work towards normalizing the relationship again. Sometimes he will apologize and sometimes not. He understands he has a temper but has difficulty controlling it and reining it in once he's "lost it."  You have gone to counseling for this and continue to work on the issue as a couple. Progress has been made. Your husband understands why he gets angry and is working on calming down before saying anything. However, he still loses his temper every now and then in ways you find hurtful and damaging.

You wonder if your husband will ever change. You wonder if you can live with this for the rest of your life. Every time he slips you forget all the times he has been successful in managing his anger in more constructive ways. You feel hopeless instead of remembering that both you and he committed to dealing with this issue, understanding it will take a long time for him to truly integrate a new way of being. You forget that even under the best of circumstances, people are human and under stress, primitive ways of coping can take over.

So what can you do to deal with the same issue that still haunts the relationship? Here are things to remember when those same old issues come up again.

  • Remember, as long as you are both committed to making things better and take action to do so, progress is being made.
  • Expect breakdowns. They are a part of life and no one is perfect. As long as they are occurring less and less, you can relax and know things are moving in the right direction.
  • Always make sure that you are attending your end of things. Even if your partner's issues have nothing to do with you, you are responsible for how you deal with them. Make sure you work on you.
  • Focus on what your partner does right and how he pleases you. Give your partner credit for his intentions, efforts and progress made. It's the best reinforcement for continued change.
  • Lastly, know that dealing with each other's imperfections and woundedness is part of the deal. Relationships provide fertile ground for healing. In doing so, this requires ongoing patience, forgiveness and love. It also takes a willingness to take responsibility at all times for one's actions and continuous recommitment to do better next time.

So you decide if there are reasons enough to hang in there for the entire ride. Know there will be up hill climbs, steep vertical falls and lots of thrilling curves along the way. Buckle up. No one said relationships were straight and level roads--but that's the very thing that makes them so worthwhile.

If you or someone you know needs help in dealing with your relationship challenges, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

As always, I’m here to support you in creating strong and intimate relationships. 

Be well,

Julie

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Click to read more ...

Saturday
Sep062014

Julie Orlov’s Q&A Video: My Husband Cheated: How Can I Trust Him Again?

If you're in a relationship with someone who's ever cheated on you, you know how difficult it can be to trust that person again. After all, once he or she's betrayed your trust, who's to say he or she won't do it again?

In this video, I offer advice about how to handle trust issues in any relationship, especially with someone who has been unfaithful in the past. You’ll understand what stops you from trusting again and how to overcome those hurdles. You will also get some key questions to ask yourself and what you need to address with your partner or spouse.

If you’ve ever felt betrayed, this is the video to watch!  Click “Read in Browser” to watch the video directly on my site or use the link below to view this and my other Q&A videos on YouTube.

http://youtu.be/XX_x17GK8C8

Be well.

Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know want to heal your relationship from a past betryal, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

Click to read more ...

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