What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life.  It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation~Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

 

More Reviews

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

Join the Conversation:

  

Blog Index
The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.
« The Number One Myth My Clients Believe | Main | Quote for the Week! »
Monday
Aug242015

Love and Relationship Q&A w'Julie Orlov "Why is it so difficult to forgive?"

Today's question deals with how difficult it can be to forgive someone who has hurt or disappointed you. This video Q&A talks about the power of forgiveness, how to move from anger and defensiveness toward forgiveness and why it will set you free!

To view on YouTube, go to http://youtu.be/5BqKDzWP2dY

The Art of Forgiveness

When someone or something has done you wrong, it is easy to get lost in feeling hurt, disappointed, angry, and betrayed. It is easy to feel foolish, stupid and just plain resistant to the notion of “forgive and forget.” We erroneously believe that when we hold on to our feelings and beliefs about what was done to us, we hold on to our power. Furthermore, we believe that if our "perpetrator" is punished or pays enough restitution, we will find our way to feeling satisfied that justice has been served. 

Ironically, neither is true. Revenge can be a bottomless pit. And holding on to anger and hurt simply drains you from your power rather than restoring it.

The only way out is through forgiveness. When we forgive, we take back our power. We find peace of mind. We use our energy in ways that serve us and leave the person that hurt us with the space to deal with his actions and her issues, as opposed to you and your emotional reaction. In other words, forgiveness restores power and responsibility where it belongs, respectively.

So the next time you are faced with finding your way toward forgiveness, here are some thoughts to consider.

Most people have good intentions. Their good intentions may have gotten lost in the translation of their actions. Look to their intentions and understand everyone makes mistakes.

You may have had more to do with your emotional, psychic or physical injury than you think. Seek within and see what role, if any, you played. Then forgive yourself as well.

If someone's intentions were not good, then try to see the pain and sorrow from which those intentions and actions arose. People who intentionally harm another person have a lot of pain, anger, hurt, and sorrow within. Compassion does not mean you condone anything. It simply makes your heart more full of light and your life more full of love.

The energy you use to withhold forgiveness is wasted energy. When the time is right, let go. Reclaim your energy so it can be used in more valuable ways. 

So the next time you are faced with the choice of bitterness or forgiveness, give forgiveness a try. I promise you, forgiveness is the best form of revenge you can have.

If you or someone you know is struggling in their relationships, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve. 

As always, I’m here to support you in creating strong and intimate relationships.

Be well,

Julie

P.S. And don't forget to catch my radio/TV show Pathways to Love w'Julie Orlov LIVE every Sunday 1:30pm PST on LATalkLive!

Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Pathway to Love: Create Intimacy and Transform Your Relationships through Self-Discovery

Retrieve Your FREE Relationship Assessment Quiz and see if YOUR Relationship is on track at www.julieorlov.com/quiz

Create Relationships in Your Life That Work — learn more at www.julieorlov.com

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>